Page 49

Get tree.

Decorate tree and house once Layla home? Would it be better to have it all Christmassy when she gets home? Ask Joe for his thoughts.

Don’t ask Joe – he won’t know.

Deep clean whole house including grout in shower cubicle as now green / black and may contain fungal spores.

Replace cracked loo seat in cloakroom as pinched buttock yesterday – now looks like love-bite.

See if I can get golf ball out of vacuum hose – may need new hoover.

Wash all bedding and towels.

Get special Christmas towels out of attic.

Food – OMG – continued on separate lists: a) normal day-to-day food (pages 1–2) and b) Christmas food (pages 3–14).

Have nervous breakdown about how in Holy Hell we are ever going to be able to afford list items 1–25.