Page 37 of The Billionaire's Secret Kiss

I tried to explain. I don't think I did a very good job because when I was done, Holden gave me a long, considering look and shook his head.

"You think he's not going to be distracted without you? It's probably going to be worse. If this is really about keeping his head in the game, you're not helping by taking away the one thing he says he really wants. You."

"But—"

“Unless this is really about protecting yourself," he said, meeting my eyes with a dark stare that somehow reminded me of Noah's.

I set my beer down on the counter. Why was it so wrong to protect myself? Trying to explain, I said, “The last time he left, he got so wrapped up in his company that he completely forgot about me. I don't want to go through that again."

"Fair enough," Holden said. "I can't promise you things are going to work out. He's dealing with a shit-storm right now, and it's a bad time for his company to be in this kind of mess. Philip Martin is a dumbass. He's digging himself a hole, and eventually, he'll get what's coming to him. But here's something to think about—when this is all over, and Noah's life calms down, he's going to remember that you cut him loose when he needed you. He may not want to try again. I get that you want to protect yourself, but is the risk of getting hurt worth losing him?"

Holden drank the rest of his beer, rinsed it out in the sink, and tossed it into the recycle bin.

"Just something to think about.” Turning toward the door, he said, "I'll text you on Monday. If Vance and Maggie need you and you can't get away, just let me know. We'll figure it out."

"Sounds good," I said weakly, my head spinning, trying to absorb Holden's parting words.

Was that how Noah saw it? Me cutting him loose? Abandoning him?

Was that what I was doing?

Lost in thought, I followed Holden downstairs and locked the door behind him when he left.

Gradually, it dawned on me that I'd made a terrible mistake.

Chapter Eleven

Noah

Ihad a bad feeling about the meeting with Vance and Maggie Winters. Vance had been abrupt on the phone that afternoon, demanding that I make time to stop by before I headed to the airport. I had time. My flight wasn’t until almost eleven pm. I never had trouble sleeping on a plane, even squeezed into coach, and I preferred not to waste the day sleeping when I could do it while I flew. I’d planned to take Ella to dinner, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen.

I was trying not to think about Ella. I couldn’t say I was surprised she’d ended things. Hell, we’d barely gotten back together before she lost her nerve and walked. Maybe it was for the best. A long-distance relationship wouldn’t be easy. If she couldn’t trust me, it would fall apart, just as it had before.

I was trapped, and I couldn’t figure my way out. I couldn’t walk away from my company. Not only was it the product of years of hard work, but my team was counting on me. Even if I didn’t want to run the company anymore, I couldn’t let it fail. If I really wanted to move on, we had to finish this project and get it on the market. Then I could sell the company and start over with something else. Something with less stress. I could get a regular job.

Would Ella give me a shot if I had a regular job with none of the demands of running my own company? My stomach twisted at the thought. What if I sold the company and she did come back?

That guy wasn’t me.

I’d been dreaming of Endicott Tech the whole time we were together. A regular nine to five was never on my radar. If that’s the man she wanted, I was better off without her. I felt sick as that realization crystallized in my mind.

Endicott Technologies was a part of me. It was who I was. I’d never be happy with less than my own dream. If less was what Ella wanted, then as much as I loved her, I was better off without her.

I parked my car in Vance and Maggie’s driveway, queasy at the thoughts rolling in my brain. Was I giving up on Ella?

No, I refused to give up.

She hadn’t asked me to sell Endicott Tech. She’d said she was breaking things off so I could focus on work. She didn’t want me to change. She just didn’t think there was room for her in my dream.

Frustration coursed through me as I got out of my rental car and paced to the front door. I didn’t want to be here dealing with business. I needed to spend my last hours in Atlanta talking to Ella. There was more to say—she just didn’t know it yet.

Maggie swung open the door with a smile, little Rosie balanced on her hip, tugging on Maggie’s long red hair. “Come in, Noah. Vance is in the office.” She gestured down the hall.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked. Maggie had been an integral part of every meeting and conference call we’d had so far. If she wasn’t joining us, it couldn’t mean good things.

She shook her head, gently tugging her hair free from her daughter’s tight fist. “I’m out. Vance and I aren’t seeing eye to eye. But Noah? I like you. I’m more cautious than Vance, and I’m not happy about this mess with Phillip Martin, but I like you. I hope you make the right choice.”

With that oblique comment, she walked away, singing a nursery rhyme under her breath, Rosie trying to sing along with limited success. I watched them go, thinking about family, and children, and Ella. Whenever I imagined those things, which admittedly wasn’t often, it was with Ella.