Page 13 of The Billionaire's Secret Kiss

"Bullshit, that isn't what happened. That's exactly what happened. And I don't need your help. I'm working. I'm saving money. I'm going back to school, and Iwillgraduate. It's just going to take a little more time. I don't need your charity, and I don't need you to feel sorry for me."

“I don't feel sorry for you," I said automatically. We both knew I was lying.

How could Inotfeel sorry for her?

I'd never known anyone who loved academics as much as Ella. We’d both been good students, but half the time, I'd been restless, plans for the future rolling in my head, driving me to do more than study and get good grades. For most students, a free ride to a grad program at Caltech was like winning the lottery, but I hadn't lasted more than a semester. I'd wanted to be out there, building my company and making things happen.

I wasn't going to change the world from inside a classroom. Not like Ella was.

"I'm sorry," I said. "How are your parents doing?"

I hadn't been particularly close with Ella's family, but we’d had an amicable relationship. Her parents were nice people, if a little obsessed with status. I couldn't imagine they were handling the change in their circumstances very well.

Ella broke off a piece of croissant and took a bite. After she’d swallowed, she said, “They're okay. My dad finally got another job. They're living in a condo, and my mom is looking for something, but, you know, she never worked, so there's not a lot out there."

"How did you get hooked up with Vance and Maggie?" I asked. It seemed so random. I'd never known Ella to so much as babysit for extra cash, and now she was a full-time nanny?

"I got to be friends with these two girls in my old building before I had to drop out. Jo and Emily. They were in the CS program too. We hung out a lot, even after I left school. I lost my apartment, and I was couch surfing with some other friends, waiting tables—"

"You hated waiting tables," I said quietly. A husky half-laugh erupted from Ella's throat before she snapped her mouth shut and cut off the sound.

"Yeah, well, I also suck at it. Jo and Emily started dating Holden and Tate Winters—it was so weird. In like two weeks, they went from single to joined at the hip, both of them. Which is cool, because Holden and Tate are both good guys, perfect for Jo and Emily. But they knew I was in a tight spot, so they started giving me some freelance coding work—they own WGC. And then when Vance and Maggie got together, and they needed a nanny, Jo and Emily knew I liked kids, so they recommended me. I was lucky. They're great to work for, and with Vance letting me stay in his loft, I don't have to spend money on rent so I can save more for school and living expenses when I go back."

"Thatwaslucky," I agreed.

I understood why Ella hadn't called me for help. I did. I hadn't gone out of my way to be accessible after we broke up. Still, it burned knowing that virtual strangers had stepped in to see that she had work and shelter while I’d done nothing. That I hadn't known what was going on didn't feel like much of an excuse.

"I'm sorry you had to drop out of school," I said.

"Me too. So, why are you talking to Vance and Maggie about your company?" she asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

I thought about what to say. My ego told me to feed her a line of bullshit about growing the company. My heart warned me that lies were not the way to go.

"About a year ago," I explained, "I changed the tack of the company. We’d been working on some small navigation-related apps that were profitable but boring. In the meantime, we’d been working on our current project, and when it started to take off, I made the decision to divert resources to development. I was betting we could make the new program work before we ran out of money."

"But it's not done, and you're running out of money?" Ella asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Exactly. We’re close. No more than a few months away, even by a conservative estimate. But between now and then, I need to keep the lights on and pay my people."

"So you're broke?" Ella asked.

"Not exactly. Personally, I'm doing just fine."

Ella's dark eyebrows knit together. "Then why don't you just invest your own money? Why come to Vance and Maggie?"

"I will. If I have to. But it's not good business. If I gamble my savings on keeping the company afloat and I lose, I've got nothing left to start over. Besides, we have a viable product. We’re a good bet for investors. I'm not here because Maggie and Vance were my only option. I'm here because they're offering me the best deal and I’d prefer to work with them."

"And if you didn't need the money? Would you still have come back here?"

This conversation was littered with pitfalls.

Honesty, I reminded myself.Be honest.

"Yes," I said. "I told you, I'm not just here to see Vance and Maggie. I'm here to see you. If I didn't have this meeting with Vance and Maggie, I don't know that I'd be here right now. My team needs me back in California. But that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about you. I wanted to wait until things were calmer with the company. Until I could focus on you. The timing isn’t good right now, but I’m here, and I want to try.”

Ella shrugged her shoulder and took another bite of the croissant, her eyes fixed on the view of the street out the window. I didn't want to lie to her, but my honesty didn't seem to be winning me any points.

"Look, Ella, I know I didn't handle things well when we split up. I know I was self-centered and an asshole. By the time I realized I'd fucked up and I wanted you back, I couldn't figure out how to fix everything that had gone wrong. I've been dragging my feet, but it's not because you aren't a priority. It's because getting you back means more than anything else, and I didn't want to fuck it up again, so it was easier just to keep putting it off."