Page 86 of The Rebel Billionaire

I let out a sigh. Lucas had been weird when we were at Winters House. Stiff and uncomfortable. For someone who had command of every situation I'd seen him in, seeing Lucas out of step and offbeatunnervedme.

Did he dislike myfamily?

It's not that I thought we were perfect, but we weren't bad. We complained about each other all the time, but every familydidthat.

I couldn't remember anyone being rude or saying anything awkward. Except the whole thing about the benefit. I knew I should've talked to him about it earlier. I just couldn't figure out whattosay.

I had no problem stripping naked for Lucas, no issues being vulnerable with him when we were in bed, but when it came to something as basic as asking him to go to a party with me, I completelyfolded.

Where was my courage? I never had a problem asking for what I wanted. I had issues, but low self-esteem wasn't oneofthem.

Had I been afraid he'd turnmedown?

Stupidquestion.

Of course I had. We didn't date. We had sex. Thatwasit.

Except it wasn't. It hadn't beenjust sexfor a long time. Not since Lucas had spent the night after my stalkerjumpedme.

We ate together. We were living together. This last month with Lucas had been the best relationship of my life and it wasn't even arelationship.

Now, he was going to the benefit with me, but I wasn't sure if he was going as my date or as my bodyguard. Had he hesitated because he didn't want to go? Because he didn't want to leadmeon?

Or was he mad I hadn't asked himmyself?

You could talk to him, my good sensesuggested.

Or I could avoid the subject and hope it workeditselfout.

While I knew option number two was stupid and immature, it was my firstchoice.

Maybe if I talked to Lucas about all of this, we'd discover that we both really liked being together and were willing to take the risk and turn this intosomethingmore.

Orhe'd give me a pitying look and explain that he'd been clear with me since the beginning, we were just having fun, and he should've known better than to expect me to handle it like anadult.

I could see that conversation way too clearly, hear it play out inmyhead.

I wasn't goingthere.

I wasn'treadyyet.

I didn't think I'd ever be ready for Lucas todumpme.

Eventually, we'd catch Hayward in the act, this would all be over, and Lucas wouldleave.

I wasn't ready now, and I wouldn't bereadythen.

We pulled into Lucas's driveway and he parked his truck. I couldn't help a quick glance at the front of my house. The graffiti was gone, hastily covered with a few coats of primer. Lucas or Aiden had taken care of it, and I wasgrateful.

It wasn't the words spray-painted on the house so much as the aggressive violence of the act itself, the gleeful destruction of something I loved. Now it was erased, the porch light was on, and all wasquiet.

After all the time I'd spent wondering why Lucas never asked me to his house, I would've thought I'd be more excited to move inwithhim.

I wasn't. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Staying with Lucas wasn't a progression in our relationship. I wasn't there because he'd decided to letmein.

It was aBand-Aid.

Aquickfix.