Page 42 of Wild Promise

We fell silent again, the snow crunching under our boots.

Was that really all there was to it? His answer seemed far too simplistic, yet also a huge hurdle. I had trouble being honest with myself half the time, and I knew I had some serious issues with trust. How could I share all my flaws with a woman like Melina and expect her to stick around?

“What about love?” I blurted, the words seeming to come from nowhere.

“What about it?” Nate huffed, his pace having slowed considerably.

I turned to him, stopping him in his tracks with a hand on his chest. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.” He tried to sidestep me, but I dodged in front of him, not allowing him to avoid the question.

“Honesty? Good communication? Shouldn’t friends have those things, too?”

His sigh sounded more like exhaustion, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “For a guy who’s so afraid of them, you’re probably better at relationships and commitment than anyone I’ve ever met.”

The compliment landed somewhere between my chest and my gut, uncomfortable and warm at the same time. I dropped my hand and stepped away from him, shaking my head.

“I hurt myself.” His hands hit his hips and stance widened. “I didn’t want to say anything because I knew you nosy fuckers would ask me how I did it, and it’s embarrassing. All right? Can we focus on your shit now, please?”

“Sure, but only if you answer one question.”

The look he gave me was the kind he reserved only for the biggest pains in his ass.

I returned his glare, staring him straight in his sunglass-covered eyes, and deadpanned, “Was it a sex accident?”

He barked a laugh so loud it echoed off Green Mountain, making me laugh along with him.

Fuck, it felt good to make my friends happy.

“You’re an asshole,” he grumbled when our laughter eased. “But you’re a much better guy than you give yourself credit for.”

“Thanks, I think?”

“Look, I think you know I’m more the practical type. Love might be important. I’m sure some would argue it’s the only thing that matters. But the way I see it, love is a by-product of those other things. Honesty, trust, communication. If you don’t have the foundation, you can’t build a house. You get me?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I turned back to the path, keeping my stride slow so he didn’t feel the need to push his body harder than he probably should.

The thing was, I did have examples. Not from my parents, but from the other side of the Alexander family. Uncle Glenn and Aunt Sylvie had been married for over forty years and still acted like they genuinely liked each other. Eric and Jamie were the same way. They were solid and steady, the kind of couple that made it look effortless even when it probably wasn’t. Hell, even Caleb, at twenty-two, had stepped up to raise a baby that wasn’t biologically his because he loved Zadie that much.

The Alexanders weren’t all broken. Some of them had figured it out.

I just wasn’t sure if the broken parts—my fucking parts—could be fixed enough to join them.

“You’ve got to trust yourself too, though,” he said, falling back into step beside me. “Trust you’re already doing the right thing.”

“But how am I supposed to know if I’m doing the right thing? Some of my family figured it out, but my parents sure as hell didn’t. My dad’s an asshole who thinks I’m wasting my life, and my mom couldn’t be bothered to stick around long enough to teach me anything. What if I’m more like them? What if I mess it all up?”

“Did you sleep with her?”

The question hit like a punch to the gut. Every protective instinct I had fired at once. “Who’s the nosy fucker now?”

“Just answer the question. You took her out, but did you sleep with her?”

“No, I barely touched her.” The memory of pulling away from her still burned. “And stopping nearly killed me.”

“Then why did you?”

I paused a moment to think about it, even though the answer was already clear. “Because I don’t really know where we stand or what she wants from me, beyond the physical connection. And I don’t think I could look her in the eye again if I just fucked her and walked away. I respect her, but I want her to respect me too, I guess.”