Page 96 of Don't Tell

"That is not entirely accurate."

"Adrian."

"Suzanne, the work is good. I would have signed you regardless. I — "

"Adrian, don't."

He breathes out. "All right."

"You used me. I'm not interested in the apology version of it. I'm also — and this is the part I called to say — I'm also not interested in being the messenger between you and Cade."

"Suzanne."

"There is history you don't know."

A pause.

"What history?"

"Cade has been carrying something for seven years. I'm not going to tell you what it is. I think you deserve to hear it. I'm not the person who should be telling you. If you want it, you ask him. I think he will tell you if you are willing to hear it."

He does not answer.

"That's all I called to say."

"Suzanne, Cade Nightingale is a despicable man. I don't know what he has told you about my father. I don't know what he has told you about himself. Whatever it is, you should consider the source. You should consider getting out while you can."

"Adrian."

"I mean it kindly."

"You do not."

He is quiet.

"I'm not going to argue about Cade with you. I don't need you to be my rep. I don't need you to be my friend. I need you to ask Cade the question you have been waiting seven years to ask, because the answer is not what you think it is. That is for you. That is not for me. I'm hanging up now."

"Suzanne — "

"Goodbye, Adrian."

I end the call and sit on the edge of the guest bed.

My hand is shaking.

I put the phone face down on the duvet and press my palm flat against the duvet. I breathe in for four and out for four the way Marguerite used to make me breathe when I came in from school crying, and the shaking stops.

The doorbell rings.

I'm back at the kitchen table with Renée when it does.

Chad is on the couch. He looks up. Renée looks up. None of us is expecting anyone.

Renée goes.

I hear her voice go flat the way it only goes for one person on this earth.

I get up and cross to the foyer.