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“Neither do I,” he said.
My laugh came out shaky enough to annoy me.“That’s not reassuring.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
I looked at the box.The glasses were beautiful inside.
I imagined them on my little counter.Full of dark tea with sugar melting slowly at the bottom.A piece of his world sitting in mine like it belonged there.
And I also couldn’t make myself push the box back at him.
“I’m not taking this because I’ve changed the rule,” I said finally as I inched closer to the box.
His gaze didn’t leave mine.“I understand.”
“I’m taking it because throwing it at your face would probably make me feel awful later.”
“That’s a start.You don’t want to murder me”
The problem with Xerses, I was learning, was not that he brought out my extremes when I was confused.If he’d been thoughtless, I could’ve dismissed him.
If he’d been all ego, with that rich-man expectation of being adored, I could’ve written him into the same file as every other beautiful problem with too much money and not enough emotional discipline.Instead I had this.
He had walked past a shop, saw two tea glasses, and bought them because he’d thought of me.How exactly was I supposed to behave sanely around that?
“You’re thinking too hard,” he said.
I blinked.“Why is that always your opening line when I’m trying not to drown.”
“Because it’s usually true.”
“You say these things like I should find them charming.”
“Do you?”
Yes.Damn.I glanced at him.He returned my gaze.There was no easy moral high ground left.I shook my head once.“You are exhausting.”
“And you’re still here.”
I picked up the box again and held it against my hip.
“I’m going to say thank you,” I said.“I’ll keep them.”
His shoulders relaxed but somehow that made it worse.
“But,” I went on before he could say anything, “this doesn’t mean the rule is gone.”
“I know.”
Tears were forming.I willed them away.“And it doesn’t mean I understand why you did this.”
His gaze dropped to the box once and came back up.
“It means,” he said, “you understand that it was an impulse because I wanted to make you happy.”
The words hit me in the center of the chest.
I almost reminded him that he’d publicly claimed me three days ago and none of us should pretend as lies confused me.
