Page 58 of Blush Crush

I don’t know how to respond without revealing I’m more nervous inside his house than I was outside of it.

“Ariana,” he says, waiting until I meet his gaze.

I swallow. “What?”

Leaning forward slowly, his eyes drag from my face all the way down and back up again, deliberate enough to make my skin prickle. His tongue slides out to wet his bottom lip. “Take your clothes off.” The low rumble of his voice sends a shudder through me.

I stare back at him, frozen, my body going into fight-or-flight.

It’s only when I catch the faintest twitch at the edge of his lips that I realize what’s happening.

“You’re such an asshole.” I shake my head, a relieved laugh escaping before I can stop it, despite my best effort to look furious.

He tosses his head back, chuckling. “Will you relax? We’re not doing that tonight. I invited you over to talk.”

“I just assumed talking wasn’t really what you meant.”

Cocking his head, he gives me a pointed look. “We’re not even close to crossing that bridge. Baby steps, and step one is talking about what this looks like to everyone else and what it looks like for us, not immediately jumping into bed before you’re ready.”

A tightness unknots in my chest so fast it’s almost jarring. I’m not sure if it’s relief or disappointment, and I don’t particularly want to examine which one it is. “That makes sense.”

He nods once, satisfied. “So. Ground rules. You want to start, or should I?”

I reach for my water glass. “You start. I need another second.”

Cole takes a measured sip before settling back in his chair. “First thing—I think we should wait until after the holidays to go public.”

I hadn’t thought about the holidays, but he’s right. Coming out now would only add pressure neither of us needs—wondering whether we’re supposed to spend Christmas together, whose family we prioritize, not to mention all the questions from nosy family.

“My mom would be nuts about it,” he continues. “She’d insist on having you at Nochebuena and then midnight mass. It would be a whole thing.”

“What about New Year’s Eve?”

He tilts his head. “What about it?”

“Gavin and Scottie are hosting something at their lake house. Just my siblings and their partners, nothing big.” I pause. “We could go together. As our first—you know…thing.”

He stares at me for a long beat. “You want to debut us to your brothers while we’re all trapped in a remote lake house?”

When he puts it like that, it sounds significantly worse than it did in my head. “You know what, we can skip it?—”

“No, let’s do it.”

“Cole, it’s a terrible idea?—”

“It’s a great idea. I’m in. And consider this your first lesson—don’t date a man who’s afraid of your brothers. Could they beat the shit out of me? Yeah, if they coordinated. But we’re adults, and I’m not a little bitch.”

I press my lips together. “So the lesson is don’t date little bitches?”

“See.” The corner of his mouth lifts. “You’re already learning.”

I rub my hands over my jeans, working up the nerve to talk about what I was rehearsing in my head on the drive over. “I guess it’s my turn now, huh?”

He gestures for me to continue.

“I want us to be exclusive. Publicly, at least.” I keep my voice as steady as possible, even though it feels pathetic having to discuss things like this. “I’m not asking you to change your entire lifestyle or anything. I understand you have…needs.” My face reddens. “And I’m not naïve enough to think this arrangement means you’re going to be celibate for however long it takes to get past the baby-steps part.” I pause, choosing my next words carefully. “I just don’t want to know about it. And I don’t want it getting back to me through someone else. I’d rather not be the girl who’s supposedly dating someone while he’s actively?—”

“Whoa, let’s back up a step.”