Page 47 of Blush Crush

The truth hurts more than keeping my distance from her.

Fucking pipe. Dragging me back into her orbit, only to realize my feelings are still there—and hers are for someone else.

CHAPTER 14

Ariana

SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING IT

“What do you think, Duchess?”

Duchess slinks out from beneath my hand and hops onto my dresser. She holds my gaze as she deliberately knocks one of my perfume bottles onto the floor.

I laugh, shaking my head. “Great advice. Thanks for that.”

Undeterred by me or my problems, she saunters into the hallway, leaving me alone in my bedroom with nothing but my racing thoughts.

Cole dropped a bomb on me today. Wanting to pretend to date me to make Wes jealous. It’s absurd. It’s laughable.

It’s the kind of thing that only happens in books.

By the time I made it back out into the shop, Wes was gone and it felt like the small window that had cracked open and let that moment through hadn’t just closed again, but disappeared completely.

Such a waste. I’m certain that’s where our conversation was heading. But thanks to Cole, I’m left wondering if it was all in my head.

What was Cole thinking even suggesting it? Fake dating might be one of my favorite tropes to read, but even the most contemporary romance is still a fantasy compared to real life.Real people don’t fake date unless they’re celebrities in a PR relationship.

And now I can’t stop thinking about the conversation I had with Layla shortly after Cole overheard us discussing my lack of orgasms…or, more accurately, my lack of everything. She actually suggested I sleep with him. Practice with him.

At the time, I thought the idea was completely preposterous. Borderline delusional. And yet here we are.

Now he’s all but laid out the plan. I was quick to shut down the potential for a conversation regarding sex, but only because it was the very first place my brain went when he suggested the whole charade.

The thing is…Cole isn’t entirely wrong.

My lack of experience—not just with intimacy, but with dating in general—could definitely cause problems. It might even turn Wes off completely. What grown, accomplished man wants someone who still needs training wheels in the bedroom? I might as well be a virgin with how much I don’t know.

I need to be prepared if Wes ever does try to ask me out again, or any guy for that matter.

Cole made me question what would happen if Wes and I did make it that far, and all I would likely be is a major disappointment and back at square one.

Maybe a little practice wouldn’t hurt. A test run. And it’s not like I would actually develop feelings for Cole. He wouldn’t want a real relationship, and neither would I.

It would be the perfect arrangement. It would give me the freedom to learn and explore, but I’d still feel safe because I know Cole.

Not that it matters. I already turned him down, so the offer isn’t even on the table anymore.

And it’s not like I’d ever have the nerve to bring something like that up anyway. I’d basically be asking him to be my personal sex tutor, which is humiliating enough on its own.

There’s no way I could cross that line with him. At least I don’t think I could.

It’s not that I don’t find Cole attractive. Pretty sure even straight men find Cole attractive. But I’ve also seen the women Cole has “dated,” and they’re all stunning. I don’t even fall in the same category they’re in.

He might want me to pretend to be his girlfriend for his ex’s wedding, but pretending is a far cry from actually doing anything physical.

And sex without feelings?

Am I even capable of something like that?