Page 153 of Blush Crush

“Please say something,” she repeats. “Please.”

I come closer, approaching her like one might approach a feral animal. “Are you okay?”

She nods quickly followed by a dry laugh. “Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.” Her face falls to her palms, her shoulders trembling as she cries. “I’m so sorry.” It comes out wet and muffled. “I’m sorry.”

She’s blaming herself, terrified I’m going to make this her fault. Have I done something to make her think I’d be angry or mean? I’m definitely shocked. I’m for sure scared out of my mind. But I’m not mad.

I love this woman.

And I’m not going to stop no matter what she decides.

Unable to watch her cry and not hold her, I circle my arms around her. My lips place a kiss to her temple. “Are you going to keep it?”

She sucks in a harsh breath of air, gently nodding against me. “Yes. I thought about maybe not for half a second. I’ve alwayswanted to be a mom, I just imagined it happening years from now. This is…unexpected.”

I draw back, my hands cupping her cheeks. “Did you think I was going to leave you to do this alone?”

She nods again, gnawing hard on her bottom lip. “Yeah. I keep waiting for you to realize you don’t want to do a relationship after all. And now I’m supposed to expect you to become a father to a baby you don’t want.”

“Hey. Who said I don’t want it? I never said that.”

Through all the anguish on her face she manages to give me a pointed look. “We’ve never talked about kids besides you telling me that you didn’t want them. What was I supposed to think? That suddenly you do?”

When I told her I wanted to give her everything, I meant everything. I thought we had more time. So I could finally tell her I’m in love with her. Eventually ask her dad for permission to slip a ring on her finger. Give her the wedding of her dreams. She deserves to have the fairy tale she’s always wanted. I’m the one who’s been careless with her. Never using a condom, never pulling out. I’ve been plugging her up with my cum since day one. It’s no wonder she’s pregnant, I practically forced it on her.

This is all my fault.

And God, she’s so young. I feel like a lecherous old bastard for doing this to her. For taking away her future like this. I can’t change how we got here, but I will do right by her. I’ll do right for both of them.

“Hey.” I tip her chin up, forcing her eyes to mine. “Look at me.”

She does, barely, her lashes wet and clumped together.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her. “I need you to hear that. I’m not walking out that door. I’m not leaving you to do this alone.”

“I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want. This is bigger than us. It’s a life sentence. We’ll be tied to each other through a living, breathing person. Forever. I’d rather you leave now than decide it’s too much for you down the road.”

How does she not know the last thing I would ever do is leave her to do this by herself. How does she not know I’d do anything for her.

Maybe because you’re a coward who hasn’t told her how you feel.

It ends now. She’s right. This is bigger than us. It’s forever. And I intend to keep it that way.

Cradling her cheeks, I stroke my thumbs through her tears, staring into her ocean eyes. Eyes I know I’m going to look into for the rest of my life. Because she’s it for me. And it would take an act of God to get me to leave her. “I love you.”

She goes motionless in my hold, not breathing. Not even blinking.

“I’ve been trying to find the right moment to tell you for a while and apparently this is it, which is not ideal, but I need you to know that before anything else.” I draw her closer. “I’m in love with you. And I love that you’re carrying our baby even though we aren’t ready. Even though I’m terrified and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.” A rough breath pushes out of me. “We’ll figure it out. Together. Because you’re stuck with me, doll. I’m going to keep showing up. For you. For our child. You’re going to wish you’d never agreed to be my fake girlfriend.”

She laughs at that last part and for the first time since arriving, the tightness in my chest starts to loosen.

“I’d never wish that,” she says softly. “I love you too. So much.”

I tip my forehead to hers, my heart beating so hard I think it might be trying to join hers.

She loves me back.

We can do this. It’s going to be scary and hard. The timing isn’t great. But none of that matters because we’ll have each other.