Page 122 of Blush Crush

My chest rises like the swell of a wave in the expanse between us. I want to believe everything he’s saying, but my mind can be an ugly place sometimes and right now it’s trying to convince me there’s no way this is real. It’s a cruel joke. It has to be. He can’t possibly want to be with me as much as I want to be with him, can he?

The weight of his forehead settles over mine again, eyes remaining locked on me. We’re so close I swear our eyelashes are sweeping over one another.

“Please say something.” It’s a quiet plea that I wouldn’t recognize as coming from Cole if he wasn’t standing right in front of me.

I swallow, gathering the courage to speak. “What about not wanting a future with someone and not doing relationships? Am I supposed to believe all that just changed?”

“Yes,” he confesses. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing so you’re going to have to be patient with me, but you’re the best part of my day. You’re the best part of everything. My favorite person, actually. I want to be the guy for you, not the guy you practice with while you’re waiting for someone better. Let me be better. I can make you happy, baby. I promise. Please just let me.”

My heart stutters. It’s everything I want to hear yet I fear it’s still too good to be true. My gaze drifts from his face to his shirt to his belt all the way down to his shoes, anywhere that isn’t those infinite blue eyes. “How do I know what you’re saying is really true?”

He’s quiet for an extended moment before releasing a drawn-out breath. “Ariana, look at me,” he says, and like an idiot I do it on command. The corner of his mouth is ticked up, fighting a smile, but I fail to see what he could possibly be smiling about. “I don’t like coffee.”

I rear back, thrown by his comment and how it relates to all of this. “What? But you have coffee all the time.”

This time when I look at him, his smile is in full bloom. “You heard me. I don’t like coffee. What I do like is coming into this coffee shop every day and pestering the beautiful owner until she graces me with her attention.” He caresses my cheek, tracing his way across my jaw before sliding down my neck. “So I order one of her delicious chocolate croissants, and whatever the special is because I don’t give a fuck what I’m drinking. I’ll drink whatever she makes me. I might’ve been in denial for longer than I care to admit, but believe me when I tell you this has been a long time coming. Why do you think I stopped coming in? Why I disappeared?”

I shake my head because I don’t know. He’s never told me. Never explained himself.

“Because,” he continues, “I was starting to like you. More than I had any right to. That night on the patio at the Jackalope, I almost kissed you. I think you’d had too much to drink to realize it, which makes me glad it didn’t happen, but yeah, I was developing feelings, so I did what any poorly-adjusted commitment-phobic asshole does, and I removed myself from the situation. I went ghost, thinking if I stayed away from you long enough those feelings would go away.”

I’m stunned. I’m at a loss for words.

“But guess what, doll? They didn’t go away. In fact, they’ve only gotten stronger.”

If this is all true that would mean Cole was interested in me when I was still dressing the way I used to. When I didn’t wearmakeup and I was even more shy than I am now. He just liked me, exactly the way I’ve always been.

He saw me when I thought I was invisible.

The intrusive doubts that wouldn’t let up have quieted. And nothing has ever been more clear to me than it is right now.

I nod against him, almost imperceptibly, but the flare of his eyes tells me it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What do you want, Ariana? Do you want to give us a real shot? Because I’m all in.”

“Yes,” I say through a watery laugh. “I’m all in too. It’s been real for me for a while and I was so afraid you wouldn’t want me back.”

The tortured twist of his features transforms, giving way to unguarded elation. His lips collide with mine in a savoring kiss.

“Are you my girl, baby?”

Five words and I’m done for, melting into him like milk chocolate under a flame.

“I’m yours,” I assure him. My hands drape over the back of his neck, tugging him down even more. I can’t get close enough to him. If it were possible I’d burrow between his ribs.

Cole breaks our embrace, his scorching gaze searching me. “And you’re not still interested in that poetry fucker?”

God, he’s so shamelessly possessive. “No.” I snicker. “I’m not still interested in Wes.”

His roaming hands find their way under the hem of my dress, skimming up my thighs. “Pretty sure his name is Les.”

“Nope.” I giggle.

“That’s weird,” his tongue licks between my lips, mouth hovering over mine, “because he’s definitely less than me.”

I’d roll my eyes if he wasn’t drifting down my neck, scattering nips across the delicate skin.

My head falls back, giving him more room, a moan slipping free. “You’re going to be a handful, aren’t you?”