Page 116 of Blush Crush

I open it to find Cole leaning against the doorframe in dark trousers and a white button-down with the sleeves rolled to his forearms and his collar open just enough. He looks up when the door swings open and his eyes widen, blue irises disappearing under blown pupils.

He does a slow pass, from the hem of the dress up to my face, and I feel the heat of his appreciation low in my belly.

He clears his throat. “You look…”

Holding my breath, I wait for him to finish.

“…so goddamn beautiful.”

He brings his fist to his mouth and bites down on his knuckle, eyes still moving over me like he doesn’t know where to look first.

I’ve never had a man look at me the way Cole is looking at me right now, let alone bite his knuckle while doing it.

I think it causes my brain to short-circuit a little.

“Thank you,” I exhale, channeling all the composure I can manage. “You look very nice too.”

He drops his hand and gives me a look that tells mevery nicedoesn’t begin to cover what he’s thinking, which is fair becausevery nicedoesn’t begin to cover what I’m thinking either.

“Ready?” He holds out his hand.

I take it. “Ready.”

He still hasn’t told me where we’re going. Not on the elevator ride down. Not during the short walk to his truck. Not even as we drive out of town.

“One hint,” I try.

“Nope.”

The satisfied smile that spreads across his lips has my stomach fluttering.

CHAPTER 34

Cole

NAUGHTY DEDICATION

I’m admittedly not the greatest planner outside of work.

I’ve spent most of my life going with the flow, and it’s worked for me. But I wasn’t about to risk ruining this date with that same blasé approach. Ariana is a romance lover, a dreamer, a believer in fairytales and true love, and while I’ve resisted those notions like the plague, I may be starting to come around.

No, I take that back. I am coming around, but only for her. And her alone. Since starting our little charade, I’ve begun questioning some of my hard-held beliefs. A relationship doesn’t seem so bad when it looks like waking up with her in my arms, making her smile, being the reason behind her laugh.

Being with Ariana is so goddamn easy. And not easy in a lazy, careless way, more like breathing. You do it without thinking, but it’s the single most important thing keeping you alive. Without it, everything dies. Cells shrivel, blood flow stops, synapses in the brain stop firing. It’s everything, and somehow it’s still easy.

When I think of the women from my past, I think of the undercurrent of anxiety that never eased, theconstant maneuvering of clashing personalities and unmatched expectations, all for some meaningless sex.

And I don’t think I could ever go back to living that life again. I also don’t want to.

Which is why tonight is so important. I’m not sure how she’ll react or where her head is at, but I need to confess how I’m feeling or I fear I won’t be able to contain it much longer. I want to be with her, really be with her. None of this bullshit fake girlfriend with a side of lessons. I want the real damn thing, and I’m tired of trying to fight this and convince myself I don’t.

I thought if I gave myself a little taste of her that it would be enough to get her out of my system, but the truth is she’s not just in my system, she is my system. She’s everything. She’s not some fling I can shake and then move on from.

But then there’s the matter of that fucking professor. Is all of this just for him? Is it him she’s imagining when we’re together, when I’m the one making her come? I can’t stand not knowing.

I’ve never thought of myself as insecure, but I couldn’t feel less assured if I tried. I’m terrified, actually. Terrified of losing her. Terrified of being rejected. Terrified this will all end in disaster. Yet I’m doing it anyway because, just like with anything I do in life, I decided the potential outweighs the risk. Ariana is worth every risk.

And not to toot my own horn, but I pulled out all the stops for this date. She probably thinks I’m going to try and wow her with an expensive dinner and other fancy shit I know she couldn’t care less about. No, tonight is all about her and what I think she’d like. I just hope I’m right.