Page 102 of Blush Crush

“Ari.”

“Hmm?” I keep my back turned.

“Did you sleep with him? Have you been sleeping with him and not telling me? Not telling anyone?”

Guilt has my stomach rolling. Layla and I don’t keep secrets. But it’s been easier to not face that since she’s been so busy. Right after New Year’s Eve she dove back into school and work and I didn’t ever have to explain myself.

“We haven’t done that…yet,” I say to the kettle.

She gasps. “I mean, I had a feeling something happened at Gavin and Scottie’s but I thought maybe a heavy makeout session at most. Not…I don’t know. I just assumed you showed up with Cole to shut us all up about dating. I didn’t think it wasreal real.” She fixes me with a look. “Is it real?”

God, she’s so perceptive. Especially when it comes to me.

“It’s complicated,” I tell her honestly.

“Explain it to me anyway.”

Taking my time, I make us each a cup of tea. English breakfast tea with a splash of oat milk and one sugar for Layla. Chamomile tea with lots of honey for me.

I know when I finally let myself look her in the eye again, I’ll have to tell her the truth.

I hand her the steaming mug before getting settled on the couch. She stays quiet, waiting for me.

And then it pours out of me like word vomit. All of it. Wes. Cole’s proposition. The lessons. Everything in between. The things we did last night, minus the in-depth detail.

When I’m finally done, her jaw is on the floor and her eyes are bugging out of her face.

“Ariana. What the actual fuck…”

I nod, taking a generous sip of my tea. “I know.”

I can’t read her right now. I think she might be mad. Maybe mad that I’ve kept it from her.

She’s quiet for a stretch. Until a slow smile curls her lips and she starts nodding her head.

“Okay,” she says. “Okay, okay, okay.” The smile gets wider. “This is actually amazing.”

I stare at her unblinking. “You’re not mad?”

“I’m a little mad you didn’t tell me sooner.” She waves her hand. “But mostly I’m—” her lips press together like she’s trying to contain something— “I’m so happy for you. Like genuinely. This is exactly what you needed.”

“It’s a fake relationship, Lay. You heard that part, right? We’re not actually together.”

“Are you sure about that? Flowers and sleepovers sound pretty real to me.”

“That’s—”

“And the way he handled dinner with both sets of parents?!” She tilts her head. “I’m just saying. Sounds like one hell of a fake boyfriend.”

“It has an end date,” I say, because I need to say it out loud. Maybe to remind myself. “It ends after his ex’s wedding. That’s the arrangement. We both agreed.”

“Okay.” She nods slowly. “And how do you feel about that?”

I look at my tea, thinking. “I feel fine about it,” I say to my mug. “It is what it is.”

Layla says nothing, just waits for me to keep going.

“I might—” I stop. Start again. “There are moments where it’s—” I stop again. This is harder to say out loud than I expected.