AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter Eighteen
Is this wrong? The question spun round and round in her mind as Nick took her arm and led her to the steps. But I love him and I will make him the best wife I can possibly be and he doesn’t want anyone else. He will never guess I love him; he knows I desire him, he will think that is all it is. She was still dizzy with the shock of the assault, her own misery, Nick’s incredible proposal. I am not thinking properly, she realised as they entered the reception room again. ‘There is my father.’
‘Yes,’ Nick agreed. ‘I think we had better go home and confess.’
When they found him her father took one look at her, then glanced sharply at Nick, but said nothing except, ‘Tired, are you, my dear? Then let us call the carriage.’
As the vehicle jolted over the rutted street Nick said abruptly, ‘I have asked Anusha to be my wife and she has accepted me.’
‘This is very sudden.’ He did not sound displeased. ‘I cannot pretend that I am not delighted, of course, but are you both certain?’
Anusha could not be sure, his face was lost in the gloom of the carriage, but Nick sounded perfectly happy when he said, ‘I am very certain, sir.’
‘So am I, Father.’ She tried to sound pleased, but not so eager that Nick might guess at her feelings.
‘There will be many disappointed young men,’ her father said with a chuckle as they drew up at the front steps.
‘Father—’
‘Anusha, I must speak with Nicholas. You are tired, child. Go to your bed, we can talk in the morning.’ He dropped a kiss on her cheek and she nodded and made herself smile.
They would want to talk about money, she supposed. It would be good for Nick, if her father dowered her well. Something else she could do for him. ‘Goodnight.’
* * *
‘Goodnight.’ Nick took her hand, just he had on the boat, and bent over it. This time he did not kiss the air above it, but her knuckles through the thin kid gloves she wore. Her fingers tightened in his, but when he released her she looked at him, a long, steady look from those grey eyes that were so like her father’s, then turned on her heel and walked away, her full skirts swishing around the corner.
‘She seems a trifle shaken,’ George observed as he opened the door of his study.
‘I found someone bothering her, dealt with him and then we talked. She is frightened of marriage, George, marriage to one of those eligible men you’ve got your eye on. And I realised I could see why—they won’t understand her, they’ll try to force her into a mould and make her lose everything that makes her unique, makes her Anusha.
‘She knows I didn’t want to marry, that I made a mull of things with Miranda. I expect she’s afraid I’ll take a string of mistresses and neglect her, whatever I promise. But she doesn’t feel she belongs here and yet she knows she can’t put things back as they were.’ He shrugged. It was painful laying out all these reasons in cold blood, the reasons he was the solution of a problem, not the man of her dreams. ‘Anusha meant it when she said she wanted to be free. She doesn’t know who she is and I think she wants to find out. I can at least protect her, understand her a little—she trusts me for that.’
‘Well, she’s not a fool, so she should know when she’s fortunate,’ her father said robustly. ‘She will make you a good wife, Nicholas. She’s no pale little waif like poor Miranda. She’s intelligent, she’s strong and she doesn’t appear to be shy with you. And, though I say it myself, she’s a beauty. Takes after her mother.’
‘The question is, can I make her a good husband? If I couldn’t make a marriage work with a meek little wife who wanted to be married in the first place, what hope have I got with one with spirit and wits who is making the best of a bad job?’ Nick enquired. And what does a happy marriage look like, anyway? Can I make her happy?
‘I’m not trying to wriggle out of this, I just want what’s best for her. I am sorry if I have disappointed you, George. Sorry if I am not the son-in-law you wanted for her.’
‘Disappointed me? Hell, no! Nicholas you’d never do that. She is just too much for us to handle, that’s all. I only wanted...security for her, I suppose. Safety. Just do your best to make her happy, that’s all I ask.’
‘Happiness I cannot promise, but I will do my level best. You have my word on it. And I will protect her with my life, that I can swear to.’
