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“Yeah—because ofyou!”

My phone is ringing again, but this time, I’m too scared to pick up.

“Answer it before you get a real spanking.”

I flip him off, but the bastard grabs the phone off me, sliding it back onto loudspeaker.

“You done yelling?” I grumble.

Lois clears her throat. “Your birthday is August twenty-eighth, right?”

“Why?”

“Just answer,” she says coolly.

“Yeah…”

I hear her whisper, a man’s voice murmuring somewhere behind her.

“You listen to me, you stubborn little shit—” she starts up again.

“You—”

“Zip it! Go to your room, pack a bag, and order yourself a cab for tomorrow morning.”

I stare at the phone in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“Make it an early night. Oh, and insider tip: Set your alarm for six.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your flight leaves at nine forty-five tomorrow,” she says. “And I swear, if you miss it—”

“My flight? Lois, I don’t get it…”

Carter is practically on the floor laughing. I shoot him a dirty look. I’m so lost right now.

“My flight?” I repeat, and that’s when it dawns on me. “Wait a minute—are you seriously saying I should come spend Christmas with you?”

“Oh, there’s noshouldabout it, Lane. My dad bought you a ticket. And it’s nonrefundable.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. There’s no way I’m crashing your parents’ place for Christmas!”

“See you tomorrow, Laney!” she singsongs like a maniac.

“No, Lois! I—”

“Oh, and pack a nice shirt. Hard pass on the denim.”

“Lois!”

“Safe travels!”

The little bitch hung up on me!

“This… this has got to be a joke, right?” I stammer.

Carter is clutching his stomach. “I don’t think it gets much more serious than this.”