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For clarity purposes, this has taken place since my brother proposed to Holly Anne almost two years ago... to know what message awaits me this morning... one color... orange.

Becoming A Stevenson Text Thread

Mom – Decorum is key.

Mom – Wear your hair back.

Mom – Never let anyone know your true thoughts.

Mom – Never eat that first slice of cake; therefore, you won’t eat any of it, and gain unnecessary weight.

Mom – Don’t wear heels with jeans. It’s tacky.

Aunt Brenda – No. You’re just weird.

Aunt Kate – Agreed.

Mom – I am not.

K – You are.

Me – I plead the fifth.

K – Of course you do. Brown-noser.

Holly Anne – I can’t wait to be a Stevenson.

K – Gag.

Me – We can’t wait either.

Aunt Brenda – You’re going to be a wonderful addition to the family.

Aunt Kate – You really are. And even more so if you talk your brother into walking on the wild side with a sassy older woman.

Mom – Kate!

Aunt Kate – What?

Mom – You’re married.

Aunt Kate – And? We have an open relationship.

Holly Anne – He’s in a committed relationship.

Aunt Kate – How committed?

Holly Anne – So committed that he has her name tattooed on his ring finger.

Aunt Kate – That tells me nothing.

Me – I think it’s sweet.

K – You would.

Mom – Of course you would. Tattoos are the devil.

Aunt Brenda – You probably think belly button rings are the devil too.