Page 65 of January Bell

“You have to be careful,” I tell him. “Your wing has been healing for days now, and they’ve done some crazy shit on it that I can’t believe, but you’re not supposed to move it.”

“You’re worried about me,” he says slowly.

“Of fucking course I’m worried about you. Do you not remember me telling you that I loved you right before you tried to blow yourself up? Do you not remember that?”

“I thought I was dreaming,” he says. “But it was a nightmare, and I’d killed you.”

He’s still holding my face, even though I’m snuggled as close as I can get to him.

“You’re still in heat,” he says.

“I don’t even want to talk about it,” I manage, pressing kisses against his neck, his ear. Tracing the contours of his face—so beautiful—the scar even in stark relief since he’s been laid up in bed for days, a pale lavender against the darker purple of his flesh.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” he says. “Why don’t we fix it?”

“How would we fix that?” I tell him. “There’s only one way to fix it. And your wing is hurt.”

“I don’t need my wings to make you come. I haven’t used them once.”

“Oh,” I say slowly. “You don’t think it’s kind of messed up to just, like, jump on top of you right now?”

“You have been in pain for weeks. Weeks,” he says. “Heat is supposed to last two to three days at most.”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I can’t seem to keep my hands off of him, my lips either. “Just let me touch you.”

A low growl rumbles in his chest, and I moan a little because it feels really good between my legs.

“You could never take advantage of me,” he says.

But when my hand starts to inch toward his waist, where I want it most, he wraps his fingers around my wrist and sets it back on his cheek.

“Did I hurt you?” I ask him, absolutely hating that thought.

“No, Lily. The only thing that could hurt me is if something happened to you.”

“You really are all right. We’re safe now,” I tell him. “We’re on Sueva.”

He sits up abruptly, and I squeak as he pulls me into that bridal carry he seems so fond of.

“Then we’re going to solve your heat the right way.”

“Oh, finally?” I say, trying to pull off his sheet so I can get to him.

He laughs, making bracelets of his hands around my wrists to keep me from the body part of his I want the most.

“Why aren’t you letting me touch you?” I squeal, annoyed and outraged all over again.

“Because the first time we meet in that way, I will not do it in a hospital bed with my wings tied to the ceiling.”

“Are you seriously telling me you’re going to make me wait longer and keep me in pain?”

“I’m not going to make you wait any longer,” he says. “Well, as long as it takes for us to get to our home, because if we’re on Sueva, then that means that we have a home. Is that correct?”

“We do.” I kiss his mouth, his cheeks, his nose, and generally snuggle up against him as close as I can get. “We do have a home. But I’m not sure I can make it that long.”

“What if I tell you I’ll make it worth the wait?” he says, raising his eyebrows.