Page 105 of Boardroom Sins

Then eventually, I, too, go to bed. This time, I sleep.

LUKAS

EQUITY RESEARCH REPORT:

LAZAREV SELF-CONTROL INDEX (LSCI)

Rating:DOWNGRADEto SELL

Analyst Notes: Divestimmediately.

I go upstairs and drag an armchair in front of the adjoining bathroom door. I’d bar it, deadbolt it, and hammer wooden planks over it if I could, because I don’t trust myself not to rip the thing off its fucking hinges, storm in there, and do to Rae everything I’ve wanted to do to her for a long time now.

Then I rip off my pajama pants, because anything touching my skin is too much right now. Way too fucking much. I’m combustible, burning white-hot. I’m a menace to myself and to the world.

But most of all, toher.

Fuck,I’m going to ruin her. This trip was a mistake, a goddamn huge fucking mistake. What the fuck am I doing to myself? What the fuck am I doingtoher?

I’ve never felt so powerless before. I’m overcome by my own desires. It doesn’t make sense, but senselessness won’t stop the storm that’s coming.

I jerk off twice, but even when my hand is sticky with my own shameful cum, my cock stays hard.

Forher.

I’m going to fucking ruin Rae Everett.

The only question is how long until it happens.

LUKAS

PRODUCT RECALL NOTICE

Recall No.: CPSC-2094-0316-EL

Item: White sundress, blue flowers, purchased 2003

Reason for Recall: Dangerous when placed on wrong woman. May cause confusion between past and present, ghost and girl.

The next morning, I wake up calmer.

The fever has broken. Whatever madness gripped me last night has receded, leaving behind something almost like clarity. I shower, shave, and dress in linen trousers and a simple shirt. I make coffee, then stand at the kitchen window and watch the sun climb over the vineyard as I drink it.

I can do this. I can keep my hands off her. One more day, maybe two, and we’ll fly back to New York. She returns to her desk; I return to mine.

Simple as could fucking be.

I’m pouring my second cup when I hear her footsteps on the stairs. I turn…

… and all thoughts of “simple” go out the window.

Rae is wearing a simple cotton sundress with thin straps and a hem that brushes her knees. The fabric is white, soft, and worn, faded from years of washing, with little blue flowers embroidered on the cloth. It’s unremarkable, but that’s not the problem.