Page 32 of The Best of Brenna Grant

She finally popped out and threw her arms around him. “Loki, I’m so sorry, so sorry. Forgive me.”

He hugged her to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly and taking in her sweet scent, which reminded him that he was home. They had lost the babe, but she was safe. “What happened? Why are you apologizing?”

She pulled back, her breath hitching between sobs. “I lost the babe. ‘Twas a wee lassie, and she never took a breath.”

“But why are you apologizing? ‘Tis not your fault.”

“Because I should have told you, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Believe what?”

“The bairn had stopped moving in my belly.” She wailed two more times before she could stop crying long enough to talk again. “I loved her so much, and I didn’t wish to admit she was gone. But Caralyn had told me a sennight before you left to pay attention to the babe’s movement. The babe stopped moving before you left…and she was born two days afterward. She never took a breath. I held her close and we had to bury her while you were gone. I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”

“Och, sweet Belle. Do not apologize. I’m sorry. I wish I had been here with you. You should not have gone through it all alone.”

“Oh, Loki, she was so beautiful. I wished for a way to breathe life into her, but there was no hope. She was so tiny.”

Loki held Bella while she sobbed, not knowing what else to do. They’d lost a daughter. After all he’d just been through, he couldn’t help but ask why this would happen now.

“Husband, Caralyn said there is a way to keep me from carrying again. She has herbs to give me. I don’t know if I can go through this again. ‘Twas so painful. I hope you’re not upset with me. I tried to be a good mama and eat well so she would be a big bairn, but I failed. She says we can change our minds later, but I could not handle carrying again right away. Please?”

He cupped her face. “Hush, never say such things.” He kissed her tenderly, hoping to let her know how much he loved her. “Bella, you are a wonderful mother to Lucas. We have a wonderful, strong laddie, we have Kenzie, and if you wish to take the herbs, then do it. ‘Twas no fault of yours. I don’t believe such drivel. ‘Tis God’s way…and mayhap ‘tis not for us to question.”

A strange feeling washed over him. He didn’t believe God had purposefully taken this babe from them, but mayhap He had known it would happen…mayhap that was why He’d sent the dreams to him and Kenzie. What if they hadn’t gone? They would never have met Bor, never have arranged to take his place as the helpers of lost children, never have met wee Ami…

Fear gripped him as he thought about Ami downstairs. How would Bella react to the wee lass after losing her own bairn? The possibility of this loss had never occurred to him when he’d agreed to bring Ami home. Before he had time to give it any more thought, Kenzie’s face peeked around the corner of the door.

“Papa, may I bring her in to meet Mama?”

Loki stared at Bella, not knowing how to tell her what they’d done. Ultimately, though, he had no choice but to speak. “Bella, the lass lost her mama. She doesn’t speak, and she had no one but an old woman and old man to care for her. Had I known you’d lost the babe, I would not have brought her to you, but she fell in love with Kenzie, and he wanted to bring her home, make her part of our family. If you don’t want…”

Bella stared at him in astonishment, but then brought her finger up to his lips to quiet him. She waved to Kenzie. “You brought a bairn home with you?”

“Aye, Mama,” Kenzie said. “Aunt Maddie told me about the bairn, and I’m so sorry, but Ami had no one, and she loves me, so I thought she could come home with us and be my sister. She needs a mama, and since you are the best mama in the world…” He pulled Ami in through the door. She stood next to Kenzie, gripping his leg, her thumb in her mouth as she sucked away.

Loki looked at Bella, not knowing what else to say. Her hand fell away from Loki’s lips, and she waved for Kenzie to bring the lass closer. “How old is she?” Bella asked.

Kenzie stood next to the bed, Ami still gripping his arm. “Her name is Ami and she’s only two summers. She’s verra sweet, Mama.”

Ami let go of Kenzie’s leg and stood up straight, yanking her thumb out of her mouth. She looked straight at Bella and held her arms up to her.

She finally spoke her first word.

“Mama?”