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The ground moves below my feet.

No.

No, no, no, no?—

“Valen.” Whatever Chief was about to say is drowned out by the blood rushing in my ears.

A lifetimes’ worth of memories blast through me.

Not a trickle. Not fragments. A flood that crashes through the walls of my mind.

“It’s just a game, Valen. We’re going to play a trick. He’ll think his car is broken, and we’ll all laugh.”

“The new friend won’t be mad I touched it? Aunt Vivi said I shouldn’t touch other people’s stuff.”

“I’m not Aunt Vivi,” Terra screams in my face.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Just cut that tube right there. Good boy. Such a good boy.”

I was so proud. Terra had even hugged me.

Then we had a new guest in Terra’s special room. I wasn’t allowed upstairs the rest of that summer.

That’s when she turned Calla into Clover while convincing me the entire “car prank” was a dream.

I’m going to be sick.

“Valen,” Clover’s voice sounds far away. “Breathe. Just breathe.”

This is the weight I’ve carried every day since.

More memories crash through, squeezing my head in a vice. It’s too much all at once. I have a job to do. Protect Clover. But I can’t even see her through the blurry haze of memories.

Clover crying under our tree.

Terra’s terrifying smile.

The nightmares I couldn’t escape.

The feeling that followed me everywhere—knowing I’d done something unforgivable.

The night we ran. Clover’s hand in mine as we fled through the trees.

The promise I made her—that I’d never let anyone hurt her again.

But I was already the one who’d hurt her the most, and I didn’t even know it.

I’m on my knees.When did I fall?The ground is cold beneath me, but I can’t stand. I can’t even think.

I killed them.

I killed Clover’s parents.

Everything I’ve built—Styx and Stone, my reputation, my entire identity—was founded on protecting people. Saving them.

I told myself it was my purpose. I told myself it was because I cared.

But it was never a purpose.