Page 256

But my mind’s still stuck on last night.

Damir brought me here.

He hugged me.

He kissed my cheek.

He said he missed me.

That’s what I remember.

That, and his voice when he promised he’d come back.

I don’t know if I believe him. I never believe them. Any of them.

But something about the way he held me… It felt real.

And maybe that’s the worst part. Because I want to believe him. I want to believe he really came here to find me. That I was worth something more than just his mission.

Maybe he understands why I’m doing all this.

Why killing these dogs isn’t a mistake.

Why I stay sad, why I flinch when someone touches me too softly. Why I don’t know how to imagine love without thinking of bruises.

Maybe he gets it. Maybe not.

I stop by a flower shop, buy purple irises. It’s a ritual, I guess. Something painful I like to look at. Something to remind me that the mission’s not over. That I’m not done.

When I get back to the apartment, it’s quiet. Still early. I set the flowers on the table and drink a bottle of water in one long pull, like it might wash something out of me.

And then, I text Zanae.

Me

Hey, sorry I had to leave early last night. The party was great, thanks for inviting me. Hope to see you soon.

I don’t know why I feel guilty. But I do.

Then there’s a knock.

“Azra?”

My whole body freezes.

I don’t answer.

I stand there, waiting for him to go away. I can’t face him. Not yet. Not when everything still feels like it might split open again. I hear his footsteps retreat. And I finally exhale.

A few minutes pass. I open the door.

There’s a bag. A key beside it. A folded note.

I picked it up.

Brought your bike, partner. Have a nice day.

Inside the bag, my favorite breakfast. Still warm.