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“If you wanted to end it, you wouldn’t be here in my bed.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.”

“There’s ‘right,’” I say, “and then there’s what you can actually live with right now.”

She doesn’t answer.

I tilt her chin up gently so she has to look at me.

Her eyes are glassy but steady.

“You planning on walking out tonight?” I ask.

“No.”

“You planning on telling Za tonight?”

Her lips part.“No.”

“Then what are you doing?”

She swallows. “Delaying the inevitable.”

“Or buying time,” I counter.

“For what?”

“For you to figure out whether you’re ending this because it’s best… or because you’re scared.”

Her nostrils flare slightly.

“I’m not scared.”

“You are,” I say gently. “You’re terrified.”

Her fingers curl into my shoulder. “She needs me and I can’t lose her.”

“And you think losing me will be easier?”

She looks away, unable to answer.

I don’t push.

Instead, I pull her back into my chest and press my lips to her temple.

“Sleep,” I murmur.

“We’re not done talking.”

“We are for tonight.”

My eyes are heavy. The flight, the match, the adrenaline crash. I’m not even in the mental space to argue properly anymore.

“Just a couple hours, Jelly,” I mumble against her hair as I start to nod off. “Gimme a few… hours and… we’ll?—”

“I can’t lose you either,” she blurts. My eyes open instantly and she keeps going. “I want you in my life for a long time. Believe it or not, against my better judgement, I care about you too. A lot.”

Now I’m fully awake. I shift back slightly so I can see her face.