Page 61 of The Broken Keys

• Can I trust the new him? Or will the old Callum come back?

• Zara. Sebastian. The chaos that follows Callum everywhere.

• The way he hurt me before. Can I survive himhurting me again?

• His secrets. What else is he hiding?

I stare at the list, and my chest tightens. Then I turn the page.

Jaxon

Pros:

• Makes me feel safe. Seen. Understood.

• Over two years of building something deep and passionate.

• The way he holds me like I’m precious.

• How I am his treasure.

• His control. His discipline. The calm in my panic.

• How he showed me a side of myself I didn’t know I needed.

• How well he holds me together when I fall apart.

• Mon trésor. The way he says my name like he worships me.

Cons:

• Won’t let me in. Keeps his walls up no matter what.

• Pushed me away when we were so close to having it all.

• His secrets. Are theydarker? Dangerous? Sometimes he hints they are.

• That stupid special ringtone. The call he always takes in private.

• The letter I never got. What if he’s been lying this whole time?

• He gave me a house instead of his love.

• Was I ever someone he could see himself with?

• Why won’t he fight for me?

I set down the pen and stare at the two lists. They blur together, ink on paper that means nothing because this isn’t a problem I can solve with logic.

Love doesn’t work this way. Making this list is something an immature teenager would do.

Is this what I’ve reduced myself to?

My hands tremble as I reach for my coffee. It’s gone cold. Everything feels cold.

The truth is simpler and more brutal than any list can capture. I’m in love with two men.

One who taught me what love could be and one who showed me what it should be. One who’s fighting for me and one who’s pushing me away. One whose intensity scares me and one whose distance terrifies me.