Page 88 of The Jaded Notes

A few beats pass. But my touch hasn’t stopped. It’s slow and gentle, tracing her arms as if reintroducing her to her own skin.

She trembles, likely from the intensity of what we’ve just shared. And maybe, just maybe, from the way I’m staring at her. She’s even more beautiful in a satiated state.

“Let’s sit.” My voice softens to velvet, every ounce of command replaced with something calming.

I guide her to the couch, my palm a constant anchor at her back until she’s settled. She’s still shaking, her breath uneven, and a surge of protectiveness blankets me.

I disappear for only a moment, returning with some water and a small folded towel. Kneeling in front of her, I press the glass to her hands, taking her in as she drinks.

The liquid is cool and will help bring her back into the room, but my presence seems to ground her even more.

“Thank you, Jax.” She places the glass on the table near the side of the couch.

“Breathe with me.” I match her pace until her shoulders relax.

The towel is warm, and I use it to wipe the sweat from her temple, then down her throat with reverence.

“You did more than I asked tonight.” I gaze warmly into her eyes. “You gave me your trust. That’s worth more than anything else you could’ve given me.”

Her gaze, full of fear, meets mine, searching.

“You weren’t disappointed?” Her voice is small, almost fragile. “I didn’t mess it up somehow?”

“No.” I slide my palm over hers, fingers threading through until they’re locked. “There’s nothing you could do in my hands that would disappoint me, Livianna. This isn’t about control for me anymore. Not the way I thought.”

Red floods her face, and it’s not from the scene we just left. “Then what’s it about?”

“It’s about you and what you need.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

My thumb strokes over her knuckles, a small, loving gesture. “Next time, we’ll move at your pace. We’ll build on what we started. We won’t go anywhere you’re not ready to go.”

“I loved the experience, Jax. It exceeded my expectations.

“Still, we’ll take it slow. I won’t pressure you in any way.” I’m not sure if I’m still holding her hand because she needs it or because I do.

There’s a part of me that’s still grappling with what’s happening here. I’ve always been the one in control, the one who sets the rules and enforces them. But again, with her, she takes me off guard.

She’s changing me, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it, but it’s here and not going away. And with Livianna, I want to give her that hidden side of me.

“You’re safe with me.” My heart squeezes, and heat warms my chest. “Always.”

She nods, her eyes still connected to mine. They fill with trust because she’s letting me in. It’s a gift I’m not sure I deserve, but one I’ll do everything in my power to protect.

For her, I’ll tear down the walls.

For her, I’ll risk it all.

“Jax, I’m keeping my phone turned off until I get home.” Livianna eyes me as if she’s asking me to do the same, but I can’t. My life doesn’t allow me to take breaks.

The September morning air carries that crisp bite Paris saves for early risers. She sits curled on the balcony chair beside me with a blanket over her bare legs and hair tangled from a night that refused to let either of us sleep.

I dig for the small velvet box I have hidden in the pocket of my sweatpants and take it out in silence before sliding it into her lap.

Her brow furrows. “Jax… What’s this?”

“Open it.”