Page 60 of The Bitter Words

“Without me, there is no band. I’m the lifeline. The mood, the energy, the rhythm, it all comes back to me.”

“Hmm. I never saw it that way.” My mind travels to Lehlani Rose. I’m more at peace with her now, but I still havea need to right my wrongs. “You know, that’s how I see my fashion line.”

“How so?”

I bring my legs up and hug them. “Remember when I told you I was thinking about getting out of show business?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, my dream is to start my own design company. Maybe even grow it into a huge fashion house.”

He places his guitar down. “That sounds like a lot of work. And I still don’t see the correlation with a lifeline.”

“I’m not afraid of hard work. Especially when it’s doing something I love.” I pause to find the right words. “If I create my personal brand, that can live forever… If I set it up right, it would never die. It would become my legacy while allowing a part of me to shine on forever.”

“So it would be called something like Livianna Grace Designs?” He nods. “I think that’s the coolest idea you’ve ever talked about.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Somehow it feels like you.” He stands and waves me on to follow him. “I’ve never seen you asEmber From Denver. You hate singing and I’m not sure you like acting. I think you enjoy the power you get by being an actor but not everything else that goes with it.”

“I definitely don’t like the constant media attention. It’s worse now that whispers are circulating that Leon Baker is going to make Mayhem the biggest name in rock.” I follow Bren down the hallway. “Where are we going?”

“To get some food. I’m hungry.”

“What’s new?”

“What are these rumors you’re talking about with Mayhem? I haven’t heard any.”

“Probably because it’s coming from people at the studio. Everybody knows someone and since they know I’m datingCallum, they always ask about you guys signing on with Leon’s label. If I say anything, it gets twisted and printed.”

“Then quit telling them things.” He gets to the kitchen and goes straight to the fridge.

I hop up onto a stool on the other side of where he is. “Everyone seems to want Mayhem to succeed, but at the same time they want to see me fail. Why is that?”

“Is that what the press is saying?” He pulls out some leftovers and faces me.

“It’s the same old story. Somehow, I’m out to destroy my life while my boyfriend is trying to make his dreams come true.”

“It’s the usual double standard.” Bren puts the dish in the microwave to reheat his meal. “When a guy does something brave, he’s a king. If a girl does, she’s reckless and wild. The only time she doesn’t get that label is if she’s pure as the driven snow.”

“Yeah, and even then, she’ll be talked about as being stuck-up or being a selfish bitch.” I furrow my brow. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s not.” Bren glances at me. “I’m curious how you see building a fashion line will be any better.”

“For one, I won’t be on TV anymore and I’ll fade away.”

“Until you hit it big. Then it starts all over.”

“I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’ll be as brutal. It’s okay for a woman to own a company and work hard at making it successful. People honor that. It makes it more respectable somehow.”

“If you say so.” The microwave dings and Bren removes his dish. “I’m not a girl, so I wouldn’t know.”

“But since I’m an actress, an issue that may arise is the masses may think I’m getting all the perks from the success I have now. If I make it, people might think I don’t deserve it or work as hard. It diminishes all I’ll have done behind the scenes.”

“You sound like you don’t think you’ll ever catch a break.”

“I don’t know if I will. For some reason or another, I’m painted out as a bad person.”Maybe because I am.