Page 34 of The Bitter Words

A therapy session I was forced to have with my parentsraces to my mind. “Callum, my dad told me you thought our baby didn’t matter to me. That’s not true.”

He peers over at me with confusion swirling in his eyes. “How would I know that, Lily?”

“I don’t talk to you about it because I hate hurting. I feel so out of control when I do. It makes me mad.”

“Then why cut on yourself? That has to be painful.”

“That’s more of a release. When the agony builds up so much, I just need it to be gone. I get out of my head by cutting because all I’m focused on is the feeling of relief from scratching my skin.”

Callum pulls me into his arms. “You don’t have to take it on all by yourself anymore.”

“I know.” The last few months hit me and tears sting the corners of my eyes. I swallow them. “I promised my parents I’ll work on it in therapy and I will.”

“That’s good to hear.” He caresses my back. “I was scared, Lily. I thought I lost you. It made me realize nothing’s set in stone. There are a million things that could go wrong and separate us.”

“Does that mean you don’t see our home anymore? Is that why you didn’t have them draw a barn in the background?”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Maybe.”

Oh, he isn’t visualizing the future with me anymore. My stomach bottoms out.

I move out of his embrace and start to get dressed. “We should get out there before my parents come looking for me.”

“Lily…” He grabs my hand and stops me. “I still want it, but do you?”

“Yes.” I sink down on the bed in front of him and decide to quit running from the truth. “I want it all. Even what we lost.”

“Really?” His chest expands. He sits next to me, and a new spark of light brightens his eyes. “Everything?”

“Yes, everything. I want the same things as you.” I placemy hand over his heart. “A life with you, kids, and watching Mayhem take over the world. I want it all.”

A smile breaks out over his face. “Fuck if that isn’t the best news I’ve ever heard.”

“And it’s true.”

“That reminds me.” He gives me a quick peck and rushes to get dressed. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Oh…kay.”

He runs out of the room. I finish getting my clothes on and straighten out the bed.

My dad knows we’re having sex in here. Otherwise, the condoms wouldn’t be in the nightstand drawer, but I still don’t want him to know when we’re together.

I meander into the en suite to fix my hair and makeup. A few moments pass as I primp.

Callum appears in the reflection of the mirror. His face is red and he’s trying to catch his breath.

“Come here.” He motions to the bed. “There’s something I wanna ask you, but I’m not doing it in the bathroom.”

I sway to him and press my lips gently to his. I can’t help but notice he’s shaking.

“What’s wrong?” With my heart rate accelerating, I peer at him. “Callum, are you okay?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

Chapter Eight