Page 94 of The Twisted Beats

“No. That’s not what I’m talking about.” He wipes my forehead as he studies me. “You passed out.”

“Yeah, I know.” I push the cloth away. “You’re going to ruin my makeup.”

“Fuck your makeup.” He scowls. “Why are you letting Faith?—”

“Zara. Her name is Zara.”

Goddamn, my skin itches.I scratch harder, but it doesn’t help.

“Fine, but why are you letting her get to you like you are? She’s got nothing on you.”

“You slept with her.”

“So what? It meant nothing.” He runs his hand through his hair. “She means nothing.”

“I’ve got a huge party to get back to.” I scoot off the bed, trying to get the hell out of here. “We can talk about this later.”

“I don’t get it. You never let anyone get to you like this. Not even when you overheard the bullshit Guns said about me.”

“Stop, Callum.”

“No. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t get why she’s the one who pushed you over the edge. I don’t understand it.”

“You don’t have to.” I brush him aside and stand.

I’m not telling him I suffer from panic attacks. That’s my secret and he doesn’t get to know that part of me. Not after…

I let my head fall and shrink inside myself. If there were a way to cut myself out of my body and disappear, I would.

He takes my arms and forces me against the wall. “Look me in the eyes and tell me what happened out there.”

I try to wiggle free. “My dad told you never to put your hands on me.”

“Out of anger and I’m not angry with you. I’m trying tofigure you out, but you wanna run away and leave me in the dark. That doesn’t fly with me, Lily.”

“You might not be upset, but you still have a strong grip on me.”

“Yeah, the same kind that Guns had when he brought you in here.” Callum releases me. “Better?”

I wish I could say yes and mean it, but I can’t. I like the strength of someone else holding me up and taking control like Bren does when I’m upset.

And the tighter and more forceful, the better. I feel safe and supported when they do.

“Yes,” I lie. My nerves twitch and itch.

He palms my cheek and his gaze connects with mine in genuine care. “Talk to me, love.”

Love.How can he say that?

“How, Callum?”

“With your words.” He runs his thumb over my bottom lip. “Just tell me so I can understand.”

There’s a pulse between us that starts beating through the air. It flows from his heart to mine.

For a moment, I allow myself to feel it, to experience it. It’s love. Even if I want to deny it, can’t believe it’s true. It’s love.

How? Why does he loveme? How can he loveme?