Page 46 of More Than Friends

“You’re not going to fuck it up. I don’t know if anyone’s ever really prepared to become a parent. It’s just something you do. You show up for her every single day and give it your best. That’s all you can really do. But I mean it when I say she’s lucky to have you, Jude.”

He shakes his head as if he doesn’t agree, and it breaks my heart.

“And it’s normal to be scared. You’re scared because you care.”

He opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, but he snaps it shut. A few more seconds pass by before he runs a hand along his jawline. His shoulders relax with a long sigh before he opens his mouth to talk once again. “Your turn for a secret. And since you got two out of me, you also have to tell me something you haven’t told anyone else before.”

I stare at him, and it feels like I’m seeing him for the first time.

He isn’t the Jude Kensington I met a year ago. He looks like him. He even acts like him. But the Jude from last year…I was able to see right through that Jude. The charm didn’t work on me. Not really. But now there’s more to the Jude sitting next to me. Underneath the charm and confidence, there’s a man with fears and feelings. I’ve known him for a year. I’ve been close with him. But I haven’t seen the side of him that he’s been showing me since he found out about Ava. I like this raw and real version of Jude. The one where he isn’t afraid to let me see him be vulnerable.

I swallow, realizing that I might like this version of himtoomuch.

I might be catching feelings for my best friend, which is the worst thing that could possibly happen because he’s made it more than clear that the only thing he needs from me right now is to be there as a friend for him.

So why am I sitting next to him, wondering what it’d be like if we were somethingmorethan friends?

TWENTY-SEVEN

JUDE

Charlotte is quiet.She’s rarely quiet. I don’t know if her silence should worry me, and I don’t think I like it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told her how scared I am of fucking things up as a dad. I hadn’t planned on saying that. The words slipped out before I could think better of them. But it doesn’t matter if they were intentional or not, they were still the truth.

She wanted me to tell her something I haven’t ever said to anyone else, and my fear of being a terrible dad is the most real and raw thing I could tell her. I wish I could say I regret saying them, but I don’t. For some reason, it feels right to admit that to her. Everything with Charlotte feels right—too right.

No matter how hard I’m trying to fight it, Charlotte means a lot to me. She means more to me than I think I even realize. And if she continues to be there the way that she has been for me and Ava when she doesn’t have to be, the harder it’ll be to keep walls up that prevent me from caring about her more than I should. The lines are bound to get blurry, and I already know it’s going to be hard to look at her and just see a friend when I inevitably care for her more than I ever have any other woman who was just my friend.

It feels impossible to stay quiet as I wait for her to give me a secret. I feel almost naked beside her after what I just admitted. She wanted something I’ve been afraid to say out loud, and she got it. Now, I’m desperate for her to be just as vulnerable with me. I don’t mind opening up to her, but I want her to feel like she can open up to me as well.

I clear my throat and risk a glance over at her for a moment before looking back at the road. “You must really be thinking about that secret.” I can’t help but break the silence. It feels too quiet between us. I need to fill it with something, even though I desperately wish I could get into her head and find out what’s running through her mind as she sits there staring at me, not saying a word.

Why am I so desperate for her to open up to me?

I can’t explain why, but I just want to know things that she might not tell anyone else. I want that closeness to her, no matter how dangerous that might be, especially since we’ve agreed to keep things between us strictly platonic.

“Lately, I’ve been wondering if my parents are disappointed in me,” she admits.

My grip on the steering wheel tightens as my head spins in her direction. “What?”

I don’t know what I was expecting her to say, but it certainly wasn’t that.

She gives me a sad smile as she pushes a stray piece of blonde hair from her face. “Sorry, was that not what you were wanting?” There’s a hesitant tone to her voice that makes me sad.

I swallow and shake my head. “No,” I rasp. “That isn’t it at all. I just don’t understand how you could ever think that.”

She’s incredible. How could anyone ever be disappointed in her?

She pulls her gaze from mine and stares ahead. I follow her lead, but I can’t help but wish I weren’t in charge of driving thecar right now so I didn’t have to look away. I want to guess every thought running through her head just by studying the different movements of her face. Instead, I’m left staring ahead as I wait for her to explain what she means.

There’s a softthudas her head falls back against the headrest. “After college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I graduated with a degree in business because I wanted to run my own photography business, but it was hard to make any money from it. I worked as a waitress back home before coming out here to the Hamptons to work at Pembroke. My biggest dream was to come out here and open up a photography business. Pembroke wasn’t quite that, but it was a way for me to make money. It felt like enough at the time. Like something they could be proud of me for. Now, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve let them down by not wanting…more from my life.”

I keep my mouth shut as I try to think of a nice way to tell her there’s no way in hell that could actually matter to her parents. And if it did, then I’d like to have a serious conversation with them. They should be happy as long as she’s happy.

I’m so lost in thought, being confused how she could actually think anyone could ever be disappointed by her, that I don’t even realize I’ve stayed quiet until she speaks up again.

“It’s just that my siblings all have these careers and families. And then there’s me. Working at a country club and completely content doing that for now. I don’t have any big plans. I know I love photography and would love to open up a business doing that one day, but I’m realistic enough to know it’d take a lot to actually pay the bills with it. What if they’re disappointed that I’m just a cart girl?”