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Through the years after she’d escaped to New Mexico, believing she was living that life of freedom, Graeme had begun a game of such masterful cunning that it amazed her. His animal instincts, the mating hormone in his system, and the animal’s push to find Cat when Graeme still felt she was too young had distracted him at a time when the soldiers the Genetics Council had sent out for the research center, were too close though.
That recapture, what she felt and saw with the knowledge she’d blocked from those moments she’d been a part of him, showed her the Breed she’d refused to see. He’d endured death, three times. Surviving Bennett’s cruelty would have been impossible if the monster he harbored inside him hadn’t pushed forward with superhuman strength. That will to live, to survive and to ensure her safety and survival had been all that saved him. And it had remained contained until the research scientist had ordered a renewed search for the woman possessing the hormonal influences he believed were the key to Gideon’s ability to survive each of the living dissections.
In that moment, Gideon had ceased to exist. The monster had surged forward, overtaking him, filling him with the strength, the ability to heal, to hunt, to kill, unlike anything man or beast had ever known.
His life after that moment was hazy, even to him. Years of cunning intelligence and instinctive calculation was all he remembered. The strength of the hold the monster had on him had been brutally determined to see to an ultimate goal. Ensuring Cat’s safety. He’d collected debts for Gideon to eventually cash on. He’d searched out those Breeds and humans he sensed would mark her world and ensured they owed the Bengal in ways that ensured he would never be revealed to those that could be a danger.
Years of blood, savagery, plotting and the execution of goals that reached years into a future he’d instinctively sensed would evolve. He’d lived, a prison himself of such primal instinct that who and what he was became all but oblit
erated. Until she sent the email begging him to come to her. And he had come to her as she slept. Kneeling at her bed, the stripes easing, the savage neon amber of his eyes becoming a wild green once again, the pupils returning, the whites of his eyes once more present. Only in that moment had Gideon returned.
Thirteen years of hell that they’d both endured to bring them to that moment. To the second her eyes had opened, the animal she kept caged within her rising as she slept to stare up at him, to lift claw-tipped fingers to touch his face, a little purr rumbling in her chest.
“I’m scared, G,” she whispered, her voice trembling and filled with pain.
Even she hadn’t realized the fears that haunted her until she felt them, smelled them through his memories.
“I’m here, my little cat,” he whispered to her. “Be strong for me, just a little while longer. Hold on for me.
Because he’d known what she hadn’t. The animal’s rage at Claire’s presence and the inability to meld both human and animal senses completely without destroying the spirit that protected Cat’s identity.
He’d known the battle being waged inside her spirit, one even she hadn’t sensed.
“Hold on for me . . .” His hand lifted to hold her palm to his face, then to his lips as he pressed a kiss to it. “As I’ve held on for you.”
“Hurry, G,” she’d ordered, her expression tightening stubbornly. “I’m tired of waiting for you. Do it, now.”
And he’d smiled. “You’ll be angry with me.”
“That never stopped you before. Wait much longer and I’ll give up on you. I’m giving up on you, G. I’m giving up . . .” As her eyes had closed once again the monster had surged forward, amber filling his eyes, a growl rumbling in his chest.
He’d be damned if she would give up. She wanted him to hurry, she’d demanded he hurry, she could accept the consequences later.
Except she hadn’t accepted them. She’d fought him, raged at him, nearly hated him for not revealing truths that he feared would overshadow love with pity. He would have her love, he would have the mate he’d sensed the night he knelt by her bed, realizing in one blinding second what Cat had always known. She belonged to him, totally. His life, his heart, his mate.
And once again, her determination to have him in her life had distracted him from other goals. This time, plans he’d had to ensure not just her future safety, but her happiness. She clearly saw how he planned to bring her parents back into her life in a way that would ensure Cat didn’t suffer any doubts on her parents’ part. He’d wanted to wait, to tell her of those years he was lost inside the monster. He’d wanted to do it at a time that she was secure in her love for him, at a time when pity wouldn’t influence her emotions.
He’d wanted everything safe and secure for her, no matter the cost to himself.
“Sometimes, you see too much,” he murmured at her side, eyes still closed, though his voice was resigned. “Stop thinking so hard, Cat, you’ll give yourself a headache. Then you’ll give me a headache.”
She gazed at him thoughtfully for long moments.
“How long have you been able to read my thoughts, Graeme?” she asked softly, reminding herself to kick his ass.
One eye opened, peered at her for a moment with male irritation then closed once more.
“Not long,” he finally sighed. “The night you were injected with that paralytic you were in so much pain it was easier to read you. The Breed mind is far harder to sense than a human mind, and even with humans, some of their blocks are incredibly strong.”
“But you’re reading me now,” she pointed out suspiciously.
He grunted at that. “It doesn’t work like that, sweetheart. The telepathy is more a highly developed impression. I can sense you saw far more than I’m comfortable with during the mating. I knew when I felt that merging you would know me, inside and out. And I’ve always known when you’re thinking too hard. My head tightens in warning.” The amusement in his voice earned him a moment’s glare.
“That’s not nice, Graeme,” she sighed. “I was really looking forward to kicking your ass for hiding so many things from me. Now I can’t, because you were right, throwing any of that information at me would have been too much considering everything else I was dealing with.”
“Separating you from Orrin and Terran and the cousins was the hardest part,” he said regretfully. “You love them, and they love you, separate from Claire. Claire drew strength from them.”
She swallowed tightly at the mention of Claire.
