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She jerked the door open and ran for the house. She ignored his curse. Ignored the anger in his voice. She ignored the need, the desire, and the rush of tears that fell from her eyes.
Chapter Fifteen
“Faith. ” He caught her just inside the house, his arm wrapping around her waist, dragging her against his body, holding her tight against
his chest. “Baby please, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, Faith…”
Her nails bit into his arm, pain and anger lashing at her heart as she tried to twist away from him. The feel of his body, so warm and hard against her sent her blood thundering through her veins, throbbing in her cunt. She was a seething mass of lust, and damned near ready to beg him to fuck her. But even stronger than her lust, was her need for Jacob himself. His heart, his love. He was holding back the intense emotions she knew he kept hidden. Protecting himself and his heart.
“It was my place,” she bit out. “My place to be there for you. To soothe the horrors you faced, Jacob. To comfort you. You took that from me. ”
And it had tormented her over the years. Wondering if he needed her, if he was lonely, hurting, if the things he was forced to do, the blood he was forced to shed was further scarring his soul.
“No, Faith, I protected you,” he protested roughly. In his voice she heard her worse fears confirmed. “Do you think I wanted to remind you of what we escaped? Remind you of the horrors you had already known?”
He turned her in his arms, staring down at her, furious now. His eyes darkening with the intensity of his emotions.
“It is my place to protect you. ”
“It was my place to protect you as well,” she blazed back at him. “To protect your heart, Jacob, and your soul. To comfort you, to heal you. This was my place. And you took it from me. Instead, you’re scarred, so hard inside that you cannot even open up to me. ”
“Open up to you?” he questioned her roughly as he released her, his fingers tunneling through his hair in agitation. “What do I hide from you, Faith? You have only to ask me and I will provide for you. ”
Faith stared up at him, seeing his confusion, his attempt to understand what she felt he should have already seen.
“Then give me your heart,” she demanded. “Can you do that, Jacob?”
He stilled. He went so still, that Faith felt a shaft of raw fear surge through her body. His eyes lost their heated anger, chilled until she felt frozen to the bone.
“Bainesmith cut it out, Faith,” he finally told her softly. “Long ago, far away. Didn’t you know that, baby? There’s no heart left. ”
Faith strangled on the cry that welled up from her throat as he passed her, stalking through the foyer and then bounding up the stairs. There was no regret in him. No anger. He had cut himself off from her as though she no longer existed.
Her fists clenched in pain. She had known better. Known not to push him, not to mention his heart or his love. Like Wolfe and Aiden, Jacob’s life had been much harder than hers as the younger member of the Pack. As the oldest, the strongest, they had taken the responsibility of protecting the others. She shuddered as she remembered the cruelties of the scientists and soldiers. Then her eyes narrowed. She stared up at the second floor, her lips firming. He was wrong. He still had a heart, she could feel it beating, feel it hurting. She could see the pain in his eyes when he remembered the Labs, the helpless fury that even six years later, had not dimmed.
He was hiding his heart from her. He was hiding his emotions, and his soul. It had become such a habit with him that he no longer even realized what he was doing.
She sighed wearily, wiped the tears from her cheeks and debated the best way to deal with it now. She loved Jacob. She had always loved him. But she needed his love as well, and Faith knew that he would fight letting go of the protective shield that sheltered his emotions. She understood the need to do so. She had been doing it herself ever since he left her after their escape. But that didn’t mean she would allow him to hide any longer.
Faith knew if she didn’t act and break through his reserve, then he would eventually walk away from her again. He was an Enforcer, a fighter, a warrior. That part of him would never settle down to Pack life, and Faith knew she wouldn’t want him to. There were too many Breeds out there crying out for their freedom. But she wanted, needed to be a part of it as well.
Gritting her teeth, she snarled silently and stomped through the wide hallway into the kitchen. She was horny and hungry, and evidently Jacob had little intention of satisfying the first need right now, so she would take care of the second. She would need her strength to deal with his stubbornness anyway.
Male breeds were simply impossible. Alpha male breeds were the worst, of course. Domineering. Intractable. Much too sexy for words. She sighed, she hoped he had the hard-on from hell and found it impossible to find relief. It would serve him right for leaving her so needy.
Chapter Sixteen
He was a coward. Jacob stared up at the ceiling over his bed and admitted that soul shriveling knowledge as he listened to Faith toss and turn in her bed in the other room. The woman terrified him. She was equal parts aggression and female softness, and the combination was destroying him. His desire for her was destroying him. Hell, he couldn’t believe he had walked away from her. She was hot, wet, and every sexual fantasy he had ever had in his life, and he had walked away from her because her needs terrified him.
Love wasn’t a concept he could accept, even with Faith. He cared for her, deeply. He respected her abilities, her courage, and her tenacity. He wanted her until his cock was so engorged he didn’t think it would be possible to come hard enough or often enough to ease it.
Love terrified him, he admitted. The very thought of loving Faith threw him into a panic. If he loved her, could he survive it if he lost her? Could he even attempt to continue living? And the chances of losing her would become higher when word spread that the invulnerable Alpha Enforcer had a weakness. How would he protect her?
He frowned, a sudden sharp pain tearing at his chest at the thought of losing her now. His fists clenched at his sides as he pushed the feeling away, pushed the fears back. There was no love left inside him, it had been ripped out years ago, he assured himself. For surely if there was any love left, then Faith would be the one to suffer for it. She had nearly suffered for it already. That night in the Lab could have scarred her, could have made her hate him forever, instead of longing and aching for him.
He had lost control. Losing control in such a way wasn’t acceptable. But he couldn’t stop the rising heat of need that came from the memories. He had dominated her, and yet her willingness, her need to submit to his desire had done nothing to ease the hunger for more.
Was it instinct, he wondered? Had the added DNA of the savage wolf somehow given him needs, hungers he had previously been unaware of? Jacob thought back to the years of sexual training the scientists had insisted on. The different partners, the variety of setups. Women hired because of their ability to dominate men, other women for their ability to submit, and some who had fought. He pushed the memories away. He had done what he had to in his fight to save their lives and his own. Just as Wolfe and Aiden had done. Each day there had been hell. Each decision had been a matter of life or death.
