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Zach:Currently in Florence. Chasing a lost Cirro Ferri painting. Sorry, kids, you’ll have to play without me.

Hudson:And does there also happen to be a poker tournament in Florence this weekend?

Zach:I plead the fifth. Anyway, what about Eden? I like it much better when you use these chats to keep tabs on her.

I roll my eyes at that. Of course my brothers like me taking the heat off them.

Eden:I’m going to the barbecue. I’m on Liberty, remember?

Zach:You made it!

Wyatt:

Zach:I give it two days before you’re gone. Five tops. She’ll be off and we won’t hear from her again until she’s up a mountain in Bali.

I wrinkle my nose at him even though he can’t see me. But before I can tell him to shove his mountain where the sun doesn’t shine, Autumn replies.

Autumn:Ha, that’s where you’re wrong. She’s working for West. She’s staying with him, actually.

Zach:HOLD ON. WEST IS LETTING HER LIVE WITH HIM?? Has anybody run a wellness check on him recently?

Zach:I mean, I love the guy, but let’s be real, he lives like Batman. I hope Eden has earplugs for when he brings women home. Or, you know, a team of them.

Wyatt:

Not this again. I type furiously.

Eden:You guys are actual children.

Zach: Children who know West has the sex appeal of a Bond villain and the emotional availability of a brick wall. You’re the one living in his lair. With a close up view.

Hudson:Enough. West is one of the best men I know. I trust him with my business. With my family. And yes, Eden, that includes you.

My stomach twists. Hudson means it. He trusts West to take care of me. To protect me. If only he knew the truth.

That I’m lying in West’s house, imagining what it would feel like to climb onto his lap and find out exactly why he attracts so many women.

God help me, this is going to be a disaster.

Autumn:Eden, I forgot to ask earlier. Can you bring dessert? And no, sarcasm doesn’t count.

Zach:Bring a ménage à trois. West’s favorite dessert.

Eden:

Zach:Gotta go. Stay strong, sis. And maybe get an eye mask and some earplugs.

Eden:Thanks for the advice. I’ll give it all the consideration it merits.

Wyatt:

Zach:Touché. But seriously, sis, blink twice if West starts growling in his sleep. Or if he walks around shirtless. If he’s your boss, that’s an HR issue.

Eden:I’ll add it to the official incident log. Right under “Brother made me consider faking my own death to leave group chat.”

Zach:We love you too, Eden.

I drop my phone onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. My family is so stupidly weird. One brother thinks West Abbott is secretly Batman. One only speaks emoji. One trusts him with my life.