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Sapphire, tell me you’re not going to that nudist resort.

Sapphire

I’m not going to that nudist resort.

Or maybe I am.

Fuck’s sake.

A new link whooshes through next, and I read the preview. Vajrasana Buddhist Retreats.

My fingers type back faster than ever before.

Me

A Buddhist retreat?

Sapphire

Yes. I got my words mixed up, you know, nudist and Buddhist sound the same.

Me

I don’t want to go to a Buddhist retreat.

Sapphire

Okay… so what about an extreme spicy eating weekend… to detox… tears, fire, and lots of bathroom usage guaranteed *poop emoji*

Me

Sapphire!

Sapphire

Or a karaoke weekend, meant for people who can’t sing?

Me

Sapphire!

Sapphire

Silent scream therapy? No talking all weekend.

Me

I like the thought of you not talking.

That’s a lie.

Sapphire

Ouch! But okay, so that’s a possibility. What about a survival weekend, like Bear Grylls? Survive on bugs… actually forget that, I’m vegetarian.

Me

Sapphire!