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‘They must miss their mother.’
‘They did at first. She was a little like you—too adventurous for her own good.’
‘How did she die?’
‘In a riding accident. She tried to jump a hedge, not realising there was a ditch on the other side of it. The horse fell on top of her.’ It was said flatly, like something learned by rote and repeated whenever occasion demanded. She could not help feeling there was more to it than he was prepared to tell her.
‘I am so sorry. I should not have asked. Please forgive me.’
‘You are forgiven.’
They were silent for several minutes, looking out over the rail, each with their own thoughts. Then he spotted something on the horizon and beckoned to Lieutenant Sandford to give him his telescope. ‘A Dutch East Indiaman,’ he said, handing the glass to Lisette. ‘See over there.’ He leaned close to her to point the vessel out. ‘It will not bother us.’
She felt his warm breath on her ear and a tingle coursed right through her body, which she suddenly recognised as desire. Her hand was shaking as she handed back the instrument. He must not see how he affected her, he must not. He thought she was a hoyden, almost mannish, but at that moment she never felt more feminine. ‘I think I would like to go to my cabin and rest,’ she said abruptly.
‘Of course.’ He chuckled. ‘You could not have slept very well in the ship’s boat last night.’
‘No, I was too cold and hungry and the floor was hard.’
‘Serves you right.’ But he was smiling. Was he enjoying a joke at her expense? Did he know the effect he had on her? She had better take care in the future to remain aloof.
He escorted her down, opened her cabin door and bowed her in before returning to the deck where Sam joined him.
‘What now, Commodore?’ he asked.
‘Nothing. Miss Giradet will be left on board when we drop anchor at Calais. I can’t have her muddying the waters.’
‘She might be right, you know. You might need someone who knows her way about France and can help with the language and customs.’
‘My French is more than adequate for a British diplomat. And how could I explain the presence of a single woman at my side? Do I travel with a mistress?’ He laughed suddenly. ‘Unless you fancy taking her on.’
‘Not on your life.’ Sam was indignant. ‘I am a happily married man, have been this last thirty-eight years. Susan would slay me alive. Anyway, Miss Giradet would not agree.’
‘I am sure she would not. We will say no more on the subject. Go and put out my clothes for this evening.’
‘Aye, aye, sir.’
Jay paced the deck. He had laughed as if making a joke when he suggested Sam should take Lisette as a mistress, but the feelings that had raised were horribly akin to jealousy and that made him annoyed with himself. His emotions were in turmoil. His head told him the last thing he wanted was entanglement with a woman, any woman, but his heart was contradicting that. In order to still it, he kept telling himself she was Wentworth’s niece and none of that family could be trusted.
They dropped anchor outside Calais in the afternoon three days later, there to await permission to enter the busy harbour. It was late when they docked and Jay decided to stay on board until the morning, when he intended to hire a coach to take him and Sam to Paris.
‘I’m coming too,’ Lisette told him as they ate breakfast together next morning. Sam had gone ashore to acquire a carriage.
‘You, madam, are staying on board.’
‘Jay, please let me come. I cannot bear to stay here doing nothing when I could be a help. I’ll be good, I promise.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘I need to see and talk to Michel.’
‘You may do that when we return with him.’
‘Supposing he doesn’t want to come and wishes to stay by the King? I will have to persuade him for Papa’s sake. Please, Jay. I will not ask another thing of you, if you grant this request.’
‘You have no chaperon.’
‘Pah to that! We are too far from England for it to matter there, and the ordinary women of France don’t bother with chaperons.’
‘Let her come, sir.’ Sam had returned from his errand unheard by either of them. ‘After all, if you let her out of your sight, God knows what mischief she will get up to.’
Jay laughed. ‘There is that. Oh, very well, madam, you may come, but I have a feeling I am going to regret it.’
Lisette scrambled to her feet and raced down to her cabin to fetch the bag containing her spare clothes before he could change his mind.
Sam had not hired a driver, preferring to drive the carriage himself. ‘Can’t have too many people knowing our business, can we, sir?’ he explained.
