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Her whole body sagged. Why was this man constantly surprising her? He must have a disgust of her and yet he was so concerned for her father he would overlook that and continue to help them. If she accepted, she would be even more in his debt. And she would see even more of him. Did she want that, considering she was always embarrassing herself—and him?
‘I do not live at Highbeck,’ he said, as if he could read her thoughts, which disconcerted her even more. ‘My estate is a few miles distant. You will not be bothered by me.’
‘Bothered by you, sir? Why should you bother me?’ She spoke more sharply than she intended. ‘I fear I am more of a bother to you. You have exceeded all that could have been expected of you to rescue Papa from almost certain death and been wounded in doing so. We are alive and free because of you.’ She paused and gulped hard. ‘If my father were well, I would say that was more than enough, but as you are right and he needs to recuperate, I will be pleased to accept your offer to go to Highbeck for a short while, always providing your parents will have us.’
‘Good. I will give orders to Lieutenant Sandford to bypass Dover and sail round the coast to Lynn. The wind is favourable at the moment and we should make good time.’ He bowed and left her.
She continued to stand at the rail, watching the sea glide past the hull. Behind her was France and the life she had known, where until recently she had lived in luxury, helping her father manage the estate, at peace with those around her. Before her was the land of her mother’s birth, a land she had never visited and knew nothing about. Would they be made welcome? Her father would never approach her mother’s family, she knew that. Could they make a new life for themselves? Where? That question had been occupying her ever since she came on board. They would have to husband their resources, because the gold and jewels she had brought out of France were all they had. Jay had taken that worry from her, at least for the time being.
She would write to her brother and tell him what had happened and maybe he could arrange to sell some of the artefacts in the château and smuggle some money out to them. Perhaps she might even persuade him to join them. It would be good for them to be together again as a family and Michel could find a way of earning enough money to support them. She could find work, too. With so many French émigrés coming to England there would surely be a need for translators and teachers of English. They could live independently and not have to rely on the charity of people like Jay Drymore and his parents. It was one thing to be grateful for a favour—a huge one, it was true—and another to be dependent on him.
She looked up to see the white cliffs of England on their port side and a harbour which must be Dover. There was more shipping in the straits than she had noticed before; it was a busy seaway being the only route, apart from going round the north of Scotland, to pass from the German Ocean to the Atlantic and places beyond. She watched as Lieutenant Sandford issued orders and the crew scrambled aloft to adjust the sails to take them past Dover and round the coast of Kent. She felt the turbulence under her feet as the helmsman altered course. The wind became much cooler and she shivered in her thin gown and wished she had thought to bring a shawl on deck.
Jay rejoined her. ‘We shall soon be sailing northwards,’ he said. ‘And the air becomes cool as night approaches. Allow me to escort you back to your cabin.’
‘Thank you.’
He preceded her down the companionway, then turned and held out his hand to steady her. Below decks it was considerably warmer, or was it simply his proximity that was making her feel hot? She rescued her hand from his. ‘You will find England several degrees colder than France and will need warm clothing,’ he said as they reached her cabin door.
‘Yes, I guessed it would be. I have packed for it.’
‘Good. It is almost supper time. It can be served to you in your cabin if you wish, but I hope you will join us in the mess.’
It would have been churlish to refuse. ‘Thank you. I think my father would prefer to stay where he is, but I will join you when I have made sure he is comfortable.’
He reached past her to open the door, then bowed and returned to the deck. She went into her cabin to find Hortense sorting clothes. ‘The evening air is cool,’ the maid said. ‘You should have come down earlier.’
‘I was talking to the Commodore. He has invited us to Blackfen Manor. He says his parents will welcome us and Papa can recover there. I have said we will go.’
‘He is a true gentleman, even if he is a little dour, but that is not to be wondered at. Mr Roker tells me he lost his wife some three years ago and has been bringing up his children alone.’
