Page 85 of You Belong With Me

‘I… I wish you all the best,’ I continued, ‘but I’m sure you will understand when I tell you that we can’t be friends any longer.’

Her amber eyes widened in shock. ‘W-why not?’ she stammered. ‘Have I done something wrong?’

‘I think we are very different people, Maya, and since you came into my life, things haven’t been going well for my family.’

‘I’m sorry, Liv, I know there were a few…incidents… but I promise you, they’re all behind us now.’ She reached out and clasped my hand in hers but I pulled it free.

I shook my head. ‘I’m really sorry, Maya.’

She blinked back tears. ‘Look, I know I’m no angel but I’m going to change, Liv. I blamed Hugo for everything that was wrong in my life but actually, I’m not entirely blameless either, I can see that now. The last few days have been a nightmare and I’ve had a lot of time to think and reflect,’ she went on. ‘I can see I’ve made mistakes too. I drink too much. I snipe and grumble. I had an affair and never took responsibility for it; instead, I shifted the blame onto him and could only see how it was his fault, how he drove me to it. It took almost losing Elliot for me to see it all. I need to change and it starts now. Instead of spending all my time focusing on Hugo and the cycle of negativity, I want to focus on my son, giving him stability and being the best mother that I can be for him because I wasn’t a good mother, Liv. I thought I was – I fed him home-cooked meals, I read him abedtime story every night, he had every toy a child could wish for and yet I let him down in so many other ways. I was so scared of giving him my childhood, of growing up poor, that I overlooked what really matters: his happiness.’

‘All a child really needs is love and security; the rest is just a bonus,’ I said softly.

‘Please, Liv. I really value our friendship,’ she pleaded. ‘Ineedyou.’

That was the thing with Maya: she was so charming, it would be easy to get sucked back in again but our friendship wasn’t healthy. I owed it to my family and myself to step away from her and the toxicity that seemed to follow her around.

I shook my head. ‘I’m so sorry, Maya, but I have to do what’s right for me and my family.’ I felt awful after everything she had been through but they had to come first.

She nodded. ‘I understand,’ she sniffed as she wiped her dripping nose with the back of her hand. ‘I want you to know that I’m going to create a better life for Elliot and even though things are going to change greatly and I don’t have it all figured out financially, I can see now how badly he has been affected.’

‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing.’

She sucked in sharply and her bottom lip quivered. ‘I hope so. I’m so scared for the road ahead.’

‘You’re strong, you’ll be okay,’ I assured her.

She dabbed a balled tissue at her eyes. ‘Thank you, Liv, for everything. I’m sorry it’s come to this but I understand. It might not seem like it but I really did value our friendship.’

EPILOGUE

LIV

8 Months Later

Jay and I stood at the finish line watching the children in Finn’s class line up for the race. It was sports day in St Fintan’s and the parents were invited to come to cheer on their sons. The June sun was beating down and I shielded my eyes from the glare. As the starter horn sounded, the boys took off and began sprinting towards the finish line.

‘Go, Finn, go,’ I cheered but distracted by my voice, he stopped running and waved at us. We both laughed.

‘Go on, son, keep running,’ Jay encouraged.

I spotted Maya and Hugo across the field on the opposite side, clapping on Elliot, who was about to overtake a group of children to move into second place. We watched the determined set of his face as he pipped the other boy just at the finish line. Maya and Hugo cheered and hugged one another as Elliot crossed the line in first place. I knew this must be a hugely proud moment for them after the year that he had had.

Elliot had gone on to make a full recovery and had come home from hospital a week later, much to everyone’s relief.Maya and Hugo never heard from the Gardaí again and thankfully, they didn’t knock on our door either. I’m still not sure if Jay and I would have been prepared to lie to cover Hugo’s ass.

Maya and Hugo’s marriage hadn’t fared as well. No one was less surprised than me to hear that she had finally left him. She had told me that although they had had a big heart to heart at Elliot’s bedside, it had been too little, too late for her and she couldn’t stay in the marriage any more. What had happened to Elliot had been the final straw. Hugo had had a wake-up call since his marriage had ended and ironically, he was now more involved than ever in his son’s life. He and Maya were co-parenting and everyone seemed to be better off all round. Looking at them here today, they both looked much happier than they ever had when they were married. He had moved out of the house in Fairmont Heights and had bought a flat nearby in town. The real barometer had been in Elliot’s behaviour, which had improved drastically. He was better behaved in school and was popular with all the other boys. He often came over to our house to play with Finn and was always well behaved. It seemed the tension in his home life had been affecting him more than anyone had realised. Maya too seemed content with how everything had worked out. She had given up alcohol and had joined a new gym. She had become passionate about clean eating and had even studied to become a personal trainer.

Just then, Maya spotted me and waved over. I smiled and waved back at them. I still see her around but we aren’t close any more. We chit-chat at the school gate but our friendship cooled in the aftermath of what had happened to Elliot. We’re both busy with our own lives now anyway. I recently made the decision to return to work. I found a part-time role in a local GP practice during school hours. I love the challenge of a busy practice and the fact that no two days are ever the same; whether I’m givinga newborn a vaccination or changing a dressing for an elderly person, I adore the variety of my work. Then when I’m finished, I run out of the clinic and am at the school just in time to collect Finn. I take him home, give him a snack and help him do his homework. It feels like the perfect balance.

Jay and I now look back on that period in our lives, thankful we didn’t let Maya and Hugo come between us. Their relationship had been so toxic, it was almost contagious. They came into our peaceful and loving home and turned everything upside down.

I reached for my husband’s hand and slotted my hand inside his, liking how it felt there. Secure, solid. The whole experience has made us tighter and we are more cautious about who we let into our circle now. We know we are strong – stronger than the issues that had led us to marriage therapy in the first place. After all that happened, it made us appreciate our unit even more and we both know that what we have isn’t just enough – it is perfect. Nothing is missing; our family is exactly the way it is supposed to be.