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I don’t even try to deny it because that’s exactly what it is. But I’m not going to confirm it either…not quite yet.
“Just know that I really do consider you my best friend and want you to know that you can come to me with anything, you can always trust me.”
“I know,” I say softly, which is completely and utterly out of character for me.
Mike’s hand quickly sticks out just a few inches from my stomach.
I alternate my beer to my left hand and run my right hand along my pants before giving him a dry hand to shake.
“I don’t know if you’ve told her or not, but just try and remember that if you never say anything to her you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”
I shake his hand and pause. “So this is the new barbecue grill?”
He just smiles and then I hear air exit his nostrils as he releases kind of a nasal laugh.
“Yeah, this is the one.”
He turns and we move towards the one thing men can always bond over, while I continue to think up a way I can reveal to him my true feelings without breaking the bond of brotherhood we’ve already built up in and out of uniform.
CHAPTER 12
Marilyn
I watch from inside as my dad and Danny have a talk outside. I’m not a drinker at all but I almost feel like I should have one.
One, I need to calm my nerves.
Two, maybe it will be a sort of visual representation that I’m not a kid anymore.
But I don’t. I need to keep my wits about me and the last thing I want to do is figure out how I react to alcohol at a time like this. Who knows, maybe I get buzzed off a few sips and become a babbling fool, spilling the beans in front of everyone.
About ten minutes later my dad and Danny kind of drift in different directions, but everything seems fine between them. Thank god.
The rest of the afternoon and into the evening everything is pretty much normal, except for the tension which I’m sure is present on my face and Danny’s. I see it when I go into the bathroom to splash water on myself…for what must be on at least the fifth separate occasion.
As it gets darker outside a few of the officers go home and a few more start to pass out around the house. It’s been a long day of fun and these guys work long hours to start with. My mom and I put blankets on a few of them knowing there’s no way they’re going to drive home at this point.
A half hour later and the party is pretty thin.
I watch as my dad is yawning left and right and then makes his way into the bedroom. I may not know this house very well yet, but I know my dad. Once he goes into his bedroom he’s not coming out.
“Where’s your room?” the gravelly voice behind me asks and I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Danny’s.
I turn and make eye contact with him, seeing the intensity and the hunger that’s on full display.
I scan the room to make sure there are no prying eyes and I motion toward the steps and then make quick work of them two at a time.
I hear his heavier footfalls behind me, but he’s not rushing at all. He’s like the grim reaper, walking slowly as if I can run away as fast and as far as I want but he’s going to get me soon enough.
I want him to get me. I want to trip and fall and be the girl in the scary movie who gets taken.
Except he won’t have to take me at all. I’m going to give him exactly what he wants because it’s what I want too.
I duck into my room and he slides in behind me seconds later. Without taking his eyes off me his hand reaches back and he shuts the door. I hear the pop of the lock being pressed into the knob and he eases his way closer to me.
I fall back onto the bed, a framed picture of me as a kid hanging up behind it. It was my parents way of making this “my room” when they moved here, although they knew I’d never live with them again. I was always determined to make it on my own, and now I’m determined to make it in a whole different kind of way.
“You’re so young and so beautiful. Too young for me and too beautiful.” He moves closer. “You’re my best friend’s daughter. And I shouldn’t be here in your room with you now…especially with your parents directly one floor below us.” He moves closer still. “There are numerous reasons why we shouldn’t do this, but they’re only two reasons why we should that matters. You know what they are?”
