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With one glance at her stricken face, Cristiano took charge. He tightened his grip on her hand and led her purposefully down a narrow side street that was shady and relatively free of people.
‘All right, enough,’ he breathed, backing her against the stone wall of an ancient church and trapping her with his arms. ‘Right from the moment you told me what happened I have been waiting for you to raise the issue that is worrying you, but as usual you’ve kept it to yourself. I have to sit there watching while you pick at your lunch, growing paler and paler while your mind spins reasons for us not to be together.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’
‘Babies. You are thinking, There is no point in fixing this because I can’t have children and he won’t want me if I can’t have children.’
It was a part truth and Laurel felt the sharp sting of tears behind her eyes because the whole truth was so much more complicated than that.
He had no idea.
Alarmed by her own emotional reaction, she blinked rapidly. She was just tired. Really tired. ‘So you’re a mind-reader now?’ ‘Are you telling me I’m wrong?’
‘No.’ But it wasn’t all of it. Despite the searing heat, a chill washed over her. ‘It’s one more barrier between us, that’s for sure.’
‘Not to me.’ His accent was suddenly more pronounced than usual, his eyes a deep, intense shade of black as he looked at her with fierce intensity. ‘I love you. I have some work to do to prove it to you, but I do love you. And I am sorry that I wasn’t with you when you received that news. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt.’ Laurel didn’t enlighten him.
It was too soon for a conversation of that depth, particularly when she knew that her feelings on that subject would probably shock him.
‘I should have been there to support you,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m not surprised you walked out on me.’
It was the first time he’d admitted that her response might have been justified.
‘I didn’t do it to punish you. I did it because I decided I was better on my own. Safer.’
His hands lifted to her shoulders and she felt the strength in them as they tightened. ‘Safer?’
‘I was protecting myself.’
That admission drew a frown from him. ‘From me?’ ‘From hurt. It’s instinctive.’
‘I know. I’ve learned that about you. But I wish you’d just shouted at me instead of walking out. I wish you’d lost your temper and told me how you felt.’
‘Telling you wouldn’t have changed anything. I didn’t leave because I was angry with you. I left because I knew I couldn’t trust you again. I didn’t dare.’ She felt the tension ripple through his hard frame and he pulled her closer, the contact sending a spasm of awareness through her body. The physical side of their relationship had clouded everything else and it was having that same effect now. And she knew he was feeling it too because when he spoke his voice was raw and rough.
‘And now? Are you willing to take that chance?’ ‘I don’t know.’
‘Because you don’t trust me not to let you down again or because of the children thing?’
‘Both. You want children. That’s a fact. We talked about it often and your mother asked me on a daily basis when I was going to give you babies.’ Laurel tried to pull away from him but he gave a rough curse and pulled her back into the curve of his arms, resting his chin on her head.
‘Mi dispiace, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of her and I had no idea. I will speak to her.’
‘It’s what she wants for you.’ Her voice was muffled against his chest and he held her, oblivious to the tourists strolling past them. They watched with idle curiosity, no doubt wondering what the spectacularly handsome Sicilian man was saying to the dark haired girl in his arms.
‘Let’s just deal with the whole children thing right now because it is clouding the real issue here. Answer me something honestly—’ Gently, he stroked her hair away from her face. ‘If it had been me who couldn’t have children would you have left me?’
‘Of course not!’ It was a reasonable question but she knew it wasn’t the relevant one. ‘It isn’t the same.’
‘It’s exactly the same.’
‘No. It’s more complicated than that.’ Although she could have stayed like that for ever, she eased away because this was a conversation that needed to be completed. ‘Perhaps it’s easier for me because I didn’t grow up dreaming of families and children. I didn’t have those ambitions. I suppose I just didn’t believe in happy endings. But you did.’
