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‘It was Cristiano’s idea. I was worried it might have been too much but he was determined to do something. He just made me promise not to come out of the bedroom and take over.’
His eyes gleamed. ‘So you left me to struggle.’
‘No, I left you to cope. And I hoped that once you realised you were coping, you’d start to regain your confidence. And you did.’
‘Yes,’ he said slowly, ‘I did.’
‘You’ve never even told me what happened to Vicky. Were you divorced?’
‘We were never married. The moment I found out she was pregnant, I wanted her to marry me, but she wouldn’t make that commitment. She thought it would make her less marketable. She didn’t want to be seen as a “mother”. The only thing that was keeping us together was Elizabeth and after she died, we went our separate ways. Last thing I heard Vicky was in Australia but we don’t keep in touch.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It was never a relationship. That was the problem. And I told myself I didn’t want to even try it again. That night in the castle—it was so hard to tell you I wanted to keep it professional.’ He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her slowly and deliberately, until she gave a low moan and pressed against him.
‘I really believed that was what you wanted. Then I started to wonder. Your reaction over the red dress—I thought you were just angry but Avery thought it was something different.’
He smiled against her lips. ‘Avery is too astute for her own good.’
‘I like her so much. She was the one who persuaded me to just dress up and have a good time. So that’s what I did. I really didn’t think anything would happen. And then you were so angry that I danced with Carlo—’
‘Jealous—’ Lucas groaned ‘—and not proud of it. But it was seeing you with him that made me realise that I didn’t want to keep things professional. I’d never felt that way before.’
‘I hadn’t either. I’d always promised myself that I’d never fall for my boss and I really tried to stick to that, but I decided that night that I just wanted to spend whatever time I could with you. That I’d rather find another job if I had to.’
‘I can’t believe you sacrificed so much to support your family.’ He gathered her close. ‘When I think of the number of times I kept you working late at the office, not knowing that you were going home alone to a rented room.’
‘I liked working late. Probably because I loved being with you.’
‘I was a nightmare boss.’
‘No! That isn’t true. You were an excellent boss.’
‘You slog your guts out during the week to earn money for your family and then you rush back here at weekends so that you can take care of them, not because you have to but because you want to. I’ve never seen that commitment in anyone. To be honest I didn’t even believe it existed. You’re so special.’
‘I’m not special,’ she stammered, ‘I’m boringly ordinary. There are loads of people like me around.’
‘Not true. And anyway, the only person I’m interested in is you. And because I’m horribly selfish I want you all to myself. I want you with a piece of paper binding you to me and I want you wearing my ring on your finger so that if I drive you mad you won’t walk out.’
‘I’d never walk out!’ Emma was shocked that he’d even suggest it and then remembered that he’d never had any stability in his life, ever, and that realisation made her hug him all the more tightly because she was determined to change all that. ‘You’re so incredibly talented and clever and you’ve built so many things, but you’ve never had foundations of your own. You don’t have to worry about me leaving. I’d never leave. I love you so much.’
‘I know. And I’m so lucky that you love me. You are the most loyal, loving person I’ve ever met.’ He buried his fingers in her hair and kissed her again. ‘You’ve stuck with your sister and brother, no matter what. You took a job that paid well so that you could support them even though it meant living away from them. I’ve never met anyone as unselfish as you.’
‘I wasn’t that unselfish,’ Emma murmured, leaning her head against his chest. ‘I loved my job. Or at least, I loved being with you every day. Seeing you. I’ve missed you so badly it’s been agony although very good for the figure.’
‘You can still be with me every day, only you won’t be working with me.’ He stroked her hair. ‘You haven’t answered my question.’
