Page 40 of My January Duke

She swallowed. “You changed your mind.”

“Never,” he growled. “I wanted you even more. I’d seen how quickly life could change, how easily it could all be taken away.” He shook his head. “But I was broken. I started having nightmares. Not just at night, but in the day, too. Any time I heard a loud noise. And whenever there were fireworks, or thunder, well, you saw me earlier. I’d . . . lose myself.”

Liv pressed her palm flat against his chest, offering silent support. But she let him continue.

“How could I ask you to deal with all that?” His rough exhale ghosted over her cheek. “I could barely control myself. I was terrified I’d hurt you, scare you.”

“So you pulled away.” Her heart ached for him. For all the time they’d lost, even though she could understand his reasoning. Admire his selflessness.

“I wanted you to have the chance to find someone else. You deserved that. Not to be tied to a madman.” He gave a soft laugh. “But it killed me to stay away, to watch you laughing and dancing with other men, even though I knew I had no right to be so jealous. You weren’t mine. But I was selfishly glad you never seemed to take any of them too seriously.”

He brushed a curl from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “I watched you make a success of your work at King & Co. Ipestered Daisy to tell me all the things you were doing, the cases you were helping to solve. I was so proud of you, making your own way in the world. I told myself you were happy. That it was enough.”

“What changed?” she asked.

“Your father died and left that stupid scandal in your lap. And I realized I couldn’t wait until I was better; I might never be better, not completely, but you needed savingnow. So, I rode up here as fast as I could, and when I saw you with your uncle, when I realized how bad your situation was, God, I wanted to beat him for threatening you. For trying to take advantage.”

She let out a small sigh. “Well, I can’t say I regret stabbing him. I hope it hurt.”

“Me too.” He shook his head. “But after he offered for you, I didn’t want you to feel like marrying me was your only way to escape him. Istilldon’t want you to feel that. I meant what I said. If you don’t want to be my duchess, then I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe and provided for.”

His eyes held hers and her heart squeezed at the utter devotion in his expression. “Everything I have is yours, Liv.I’myours. I always have been.”

Liv pressed her lips to his. “If you’d told me you loved me when you proposed, I would have said yes right away. It’s the only thing that matters to me.” She pulled back in time to see the surprise and relief on his face. “You should have asked me the minute you came back from war.”

“That’s what Lucien said. And you’re both right. I should have trusted you to help me, not shut you out.”

She tucked her head under his chin and snuggled into the crook of his neck with a happy sigh. “Well, I know now, and I don’t love you less. Do you have any other deep dark secrets you want to tell me about?”

She felt his shoulder shift under her cheek as he shrugged. “No. You already know I like to read. And I’m not nearly the black-hearted scoundrel everyone likes to believe. What aboutyoursecrets? Apart from a bloodthirsty habit of impaling people who propose to you with sharp objects.”

She chuckled. “I promise I’ll never to do that again. Not to you, at least. And you already know all my secrets. I’m a shameless hussy with barely a penny to my name, and I expect I’ll be the subject of gossip if I’m ever invited anywhere in theTonagain.”

“As my duchess you’ll be invited everywhere. The gossip won’t touch you.” His arms tightened around her, and he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. “ButIwill. If you marry me, I doubt I’ll be able to keep my hands off you. I’ll want to touch you and hold you for as long as we both shall live.”

Liv smiled into his neck. “Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. As long as I can touch you back.”

“So you’ll marry me?” The eagerness in his tone made her heart soar.

“Do you still want to sleep in separate beds?”

“God, no. I only said that so you wouldn’t do exactly what you did tonight and walk in on me during one of my episodes. Ifyouwant to share a bed, then I’m all in.”

“In that case, I accept your proposal, Devlin Hamilton. I would love to be your duchess.”

A dull rumble of thunder punctuated her vow, but the storm had started to move away, its ferocity a thing of the past. Dev lowered his head and kissed her, and her temperature started to rise again.

“Do you know,” Dev murmured against her lips, “I might even be able to look forward to thunderstorms, now I know how willing you are to help.”

Liv gave his lower lip a gentle tug with her teeth. “So willing. Whatever it takes.” She wriggled against him and his body responded with flattering enthusiasm. “Now, why don’t we try another of those wicked ideas you were telling me about?”

In a lightning-fast move, Dev flipped over onto his back and pulled her on top of him, and she let out a delighted yelp of surprise at the sudden reversal of their positions. She pushed up on her hands, her hair swinging wildly about her face, and gazed down at the man who owned her heart and soul.

His wicked grin made her stomach somersault in anticipation. She couldn’t wait to discover everything he had in store.

“It will be my pleasure,” he growled, his hands settling on her hips. “Andyours, my duchess. Always.”

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