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The Setup

Page 19

by Lizzy Dent

“I hope I’m on speaker.”

“You are!”

“Are you using the phone mount that Dad sent you? Or is the phone in your lap again?”

I think about the unopened phone mount in the back.

“I’m using the phone mount, Elaine,” I reply.

A huff at me for calling her by her first name, but the diversion works. “How was the big trip, then?”

“It was fine. I saw a bit of the city. It was very cool.”

“Cool?” she repeats, confused.

“Yes, Budapest is very cool, very creative and cultured,” I say.

“Oh lovely, Mara,” she says. “It sounds like you’ve got the wanderlust.”

“You should try it, Mum,” I say. It’s a dig. My mother doesn’t like to travel and prefers to holiday in the north of England. She’s barely noticed the pandemic, she’s such a homebody.

I feel bad. I hate that I speak to my mother like this, and yet, I keep doing it. But it’s easier to keep both parents at arm’s length.

They are constant worriers and wing clippers, the pair of them. It was clear that when I left film school, without a degree and without an internship, I could never go back and face theiryou should have had a plan Btirade.

I hear a loud sigh and then she starts again. “And is everything good with work?”

“Fine,” I say quickly. “Work is fine. My house is fine. My life is just fine.”

“Ben got a new car; did you see the photos on Facebook?”

“No one is on Facebook anymore,” I say, as the summer sun hits the windscreen and I’m almost blinded. “Shit!”

“Mara, I wish you wouldn’t call me from the car,” Mum says, sighing again. “I know you’re very busy these days, but it would be nice to do a FaceTime so I can see you.”

And just like that, I feel guilty. What my mother wants is more of me, I know it. But if she could see the reality of my life, it would be too much to bear. I have to give her something.

“I met someone, by the way.”

“Ooh, Mara,” she says, and then after a beat: “Really?”

“Yes,really, Mother.”

“I just mean...” Her voice is silent for a moment as I hear her take a breath, and then more brightly, she continues. “Well, who is this lucky man?”

“He’s a concert cellist. He lives in Vienna for now, but he’s coming across in August, if not before,” I say, “and his name is Josef. He’s just perfect. Worldly. Handsome. Sophisticated.”

“He certainly does sound intriguing,” she says.

“He’s perfect,” I insist.

Silence on her end of the phone, before: “You can ask him to my birthday if you like.”

“He lives in Vienna, Mother,” I say quickly, trying to imagine all that dark, expensive wool and height moving around in my little childhood house, eating M&S party food from a disposable silver tray.

“Oh, that’s a shame. What about Charlie?” she tries.

“I don’t think she would be able to,” I reply. “She’s still breastfeeding.”