Page 9 of Goodbye Summer

“Drew.”

“Fuck, baby girl. Fuck yes.” He thrust a few more times and then held me flush against him, his body visibly shaking. He was looking up at the ceiling as his thumb was still pressed against my clit, lazily rubbing circles against it.

When Drew finally looked down at me, there was an angelic look on his face, full of satisfaction and my heart swelled at the fact I had done that to him. That we had done this together and created something so memorable.

“Baby girl.” Drew’s eyes were on me now as he lifted me and moved me to the center of the bed and lay down beside me, his fingers stroking my side before pulling me into him and letting his lips fall to mine. He tasted like a drink I wanted to have over and over again.

“That was amazing.” Drew’s eyes closed as we lay there.

“It was.”

I leaned forward and kissed his chest, running my hands through the hair, loving the way it felt between my fingers. It was soft, full, not patchy, and I appreciated the way he kept it trimmed and clean. It looked sexy on him and definitely showed his age, but I loved seeing the little grey hairs peeking through.

“I want to commit this night to memory.” His words warmed my heart. He didn’t want to forget this. Forget us. “I want to learn every curve you have, so once I’m gone, I can picture it even though I can’t see you.”

I let out a gasp as Drew flipped me onto my back and traced all my curves with his tongue, lighting my body on fire once again with desire. I let him consume me in the dark of the night, not afraid of what would come tomorrow in the light of day.

Irolled over, my hand brushing hair across a chest. My mind registered what my body was clearly remembering. The ache between my legs had me wanting to run my hand down Drew’s chest, directly to his cock. But something stopped me. The thought of Drew’s actions and his words from last night had my heart sinking.

Now that I was awake and there was a morning light shining through the windows, with no sweet voice to soothe me of rational thoughts, my heart sank. Drew had said he wanted to commit every inch of my body to memory while he could, so he would have it there when he couldn’t see me. In the moment, it sounded romantic, but now, I finally understood what he had meant.

He was preparing himself to leave me. To walk out of my life with only a memory to keep him company. When I’d thought about the same ting, it seemed romantic to want to record Drew to my memory, but after hearing him say it, it sounded so finite.

I placed my hand over my heart, expecting to feel a pain there, but nothing, only numbness. I rubbed the spot, trying to get it to come, but it wouldn’t. Instead, tears started to form in my eyes and I knew what was wrong. I was feeling sadness, something I wasn’t used to.

Living with my parents my whole life had taught me to never rely on anyone else. Each art show they never came to, friends they waved off because they were too busy to meet them, and even my high school graduation which only my brother showed up to. I’d grown used to the let down so much, I’d forgotten what this felt like.

Give me everything else and my heart knew what to do, but give me this, a broken heart from a man I fell for in just two days, and it had no idea what to do with itself.

A tear slipped out of my eye and I pulled myself from Drew’s side and slipped out of the bed, grabbing for a pair of shorts and throwing a shirt over my head.

Rational thinking wasn’t my forte and right now, I wasn’t sure anyone could stop me from what I was about to do, except for the man sleeping in my hotel bed. But I wasn’t about to wake him up to tell me not to leave.

Instead, I packed my bag as quietly as I could and slipped out of the room, not taking a second look at Celeste’s and Monica’s doors. I would text them once I was in the Uber I just called for, to let them know I was going to take a plane back to Savannah. I wouldn’t need to give them more than that, at least not until they were back home, drilling me for more information in person, but until then, I’d turn my phone off when I got on the plane and live in a world where I wasn’t heartbroken that Drew would be out of my life forever.

I hadn’t thought it would be this hard, but after last night and everything he made me feel, this was the only way for me to get out of it with minimal damage. I opened the front door to the bed-and-breakfast just as the car I’d put in for pulled up.

I wasted no time making myself comfortable in the back seat as he pulled out of the little parking lot in front of the house. We drove past Drew’s truck and I thought back to the first day I met him and how scared I was that I would be seeing his taillights leave me as we said goodbye.

But now it was me who was leaving Drew in the dust with the taillights of the black SUV I was in, saying goodbye to a man who had no idea I had just left him.

A sting of pain hit my heart and I shook my head at the feeling, that it wanted to show itself now, in this moment. But I had to ignore it, because it would have been far worse. I could have been watching Drew leave me and that thought brought tears to my eyes once again.

So, instead, I was leaving him. I was choosing to make sure I left before I was left, but somehow that didn’t comfort me. I was supposed to kiss and not fall in love, listen, but not believe, and leave before I was left. That’s how the motto went.

But when I looked out the back window to see Drew standing on the front porch of the bed-and-breakfast, a sob escaped me and I told the driver to step on it.

Leaving the only man I had ever loved with as much of a broken heart as I had.

But I’d never let anyone know it.

Because that’s what you did as a senator’s daughter, you learned to hide things so well, that even you believed the lies you told.

But the lie I was telling this time, was that I didn’t love Drew.

And it was going to be my hardest lie to keep.