Page 41 of Ineligible Receiver

“Good. Because I’m selfish, Noah. I want all of this—all of you—for myself.” Her smile was tremulous. “And I have so many ideas about the future. About our future. We could travel . . . or do whatever we want. With the money you’re going to get from the team, the world is open to us. You could always do ads, too, you know? Or get into modeling. We’d have so much fun together.”

None of that sounded especially appealing to me. As much as might have changed, I was still a homebody at heart. I was about to say as much when the doorbell rang, interrupting what I’d been about to say.

I frowned, wondering for a fleeting moment who the hell would be at my door. And then I remembered Emma’s call earlier, saying she might stop by, making sure I was going to be home. Maybe she was here to tell me again how much I was fucking up my life and pushing away everyone who loved me.

Because I could never hear enough of that.

I slid my chair away from the kitchen table, wincing just a little as I stood. “Let me see who that is. Emma called earlier and said she might visit. But I don’t think she’ll stay long. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

I forced a smile a little and headed for the front hallway, squinting to see if I could tell through the door’s stained glass side panels who was ringing my bell. But when I swung the door open, every nerve in my body began to hum, and my hands went cold.

Alison stood in front of me, her posture stiff and her expression solemn.

It had been several months now since I’d seen her, and the part of my mind that wasn’t reeling, shocked by her presence, was drinking in every detail. Dammit, she looked good. Her hair hung in waves over her slim shoulders, and the dress she was wearing—a loose green number that hugged her tits and ended just above her knee—complimented her coloring and her curves. Her face a little pale, and there were smudges of dark circles beneath her deep blue eyes, but overall, she was just as gorgeous, just as sexy, as she’d been the last morning I’d seen her, when I’d said goodbye, never expecting what would happen between then and now.

“Hello, Noah.” Her voice shook a little, and her hands clutched at each other. “I’m sorry for just stopping by, but . . . I’ve tried to call. And text.” She lifted one fine eyebrow. “Maybe you’ve seen my messages.”

I ducked my head, feeling my face grow warm. “Uh, yeah, sorry about that. It’s been a crazy time. I just—” I ran my hand through my hair, noting absently that it was getting long. “I don’t want to be hurtful, Alison. I mean, it’s good to see you. But a lot of shit changed since the last time we were—when we—” I broke off and tried again. “I’m not really—”Nearly good enough for you, I nearly said.Not the man I was when we met, when I started to fall for you. When I thought that maybe I had a bright future after all.

“—not really in the same place I was before,” I finished lamely. “And I should’ve called you or even sent a better text, one that explained more, but I figured you’d get the hint and stop calling.” It was a brutal, despicable thing to say. It was callous and harsh, but it was necessary. She needed to leave. And the sooner she realized what a bad bargain I was, the better.

To my surprise, she barely even reacted to my cruelty. “I understand that, but I’d still like to talk with you. If this is a bad time—” She paused and then shrugged. “Well, to be honest, I don’t really give a flying fuck if it is. I need to have a conversation with you, and it has to happen now. So are you going to invite me inside, or are we going to do this here?”

I frowned. When I’d seen Alison here at my door, I’d expected tears and recriminations. I’d thought she would ask me how I could leave her hanging, and then I figured she’d storm off, and that would be the end of it. Instead, I was getting cool, calm and frosty Alison. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this.

Glancing over my shoulder and praying like hell that I couldn’t be overheard, I shook my head. “This really isn’t a good time, Alison. I was sort of in the middle of something.”

“Okay. Fine.” She hitched her purse higher on her shoulder and strode over to the corner of the porch, where there was a cozy seating area complete with a glider and several cushioned chairs. “I’ll just wait here, then, until you can spare me a moment.”

Clenching my jaw, I pulled the door shut behind me and followed her. She settled into one of the oversized rattan chairs with a small sigh, ignoring me completely.

“Alison.” I ground out her name. “Listen, I said I’m sorry, and I am, but I’m not in a place right now where I can talk about this. And I shouldn’t have to, either—you and I had a good time together, but I didn’t make any promises. Neither of us did. We didn’t have a commitment. What happened after my surgery was a real wake-up call for me, and I realized that I’ve wasted too many years. Nothing lasts forever—everything ends—so I’m damned well going to enjoy the ride now before it’s over.”

“What a wonderful and mature attitude,” she mocked. “You must be so proud of yourself, Noah.”

“You don’t have any idea what I’ve been through,” I spit out, anger mounting. “You don’t have a fucking clue.”

“Maybe I would have if you’d bothered to answer even one of my messages!” At last, she was showing some spirit, letting go of that rigid control. “Do you know what it was like for me after your surgery? I didn’t know if you were dead or alive or if you’d just decided to ghost me. I couldn’t call the hospital, and you weren’t answering—” She broke off. “I know you don’t owe me anything. But maybe at least try to understand everything from my point of view before you start feeding me lines about your new life philosophy.”

“I apologized already!” I bellowed. “What the hell more do you want from me? Do you need one more fuck for the road? Sorry, sweetheart, I’m booked up today.”

Quicker than I would’ve thought possible, Alison sprang to her feet, one hand flying into the air as though to slap me. At the last minute, though, she pulled her punch, taking a step backward and lowering her hand. The venom in her eyes, though . . . that didn’t let up even a little.

“Noah,” she began again, and then paused, clearing her throat. “Noah, I’m not here because of me. I don’t really give a damn if you decided that you never wanted to see me again. Maybe this trulyisthe real you, and the guy I was starting to get to know before—the kind and caring and sweet man who asked me to keep an open mind about what was happening between us—maybe he was just the illusion. It’s possible.”

A dull headache began to thud in my head. “Alison—”

She went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “But like I said, I’m not here for me. I can live without you just fine, Noah. Just. Fucking Fine.” She was still glaring at me. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for—” She stopped again, and the way her chest was heaving beneath her dress distracted me a little. I had a flash of memory of our first night together, of her straddling my body, my palms filled with her tits . . .

“You can go ahead and treat me like I don’t matter, Noah, but after a lot of thought, I decided that despite everything, you deserved to know—this.” Her arm curved around her middle. “You don’t have to care about me, but maybe you want the chance to care about your child.”

Everything in the world went hazy. My vision narrowed, and my chest seized, making it hard to breathe. I felt like I had when I’d first opened my eyes after being in the coma—disoriented, confused, and panicked.

“I wanted to do this differently, but if this is the only way you’re going to hear me, then that’s your choice.” Alison’s voice gathered strength. “I’m pregnant, Noah. We’re having a baby.”

The End . . .