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just words. Nothing meaningful. Her blue eyes looked thirsty for me and her hand was

still touching me. This should have been turning me on, exciting me for tonight¡¯s sure

thing. Instead, I felt invaded by her touch and¡­ sad.

I must have turned into the world¡¯s biggest wuss. Sitting next to a hot and willing girl

and sad because I didn¡¯t feel a fucking connection. Fucking pathetic. I needed to fix this.

¡°Wanna get out of here?¡± I ripped the band-aid off, and her eyes lit up.

¡°Sure!¡± she said. ¡°Umm¡­ my place? Your place?¡±

Right as I was about to say I lived upstairs, I stopped. There was no way I was risking

her being needy and wanting to sleep over and cuddle. The second I was done, I was out

of there. ¡°Yours. Mine is getting renovated. Big mess.¡±

¡°Great!¡± she said. ¡°But umm¡­ I¡¯m not getting on your bike.¡±

I laughed. ¡°That¡¯s fine.¡±

¡°This is my first drink. Want to follow me in my car?¡±

I nodded and told her I¡¯d be right outside so I could say goodbye to the club. Though

heavy with irritating depression, I bounced up to the guys and said, ¡°See? I¡¯m back, boys.¡±

All of them hollered and slammed their tankards against the table as I walked away

with my hands still in the air, seemingly embracing the praise. They didn¡¯t see the smile

fall off my face once I turned my back to them.

Mandy lived in a trailer park near the edge of the eastside, leading to the west. My skin

crawled riding those roads, keeping an eye out for any Freeway Fucks cruising around.

Knocking a Freeway out would be the perfect excuse to get out of my night with Mandy.

The warm evening wind blasted on my face as I cranked the throttle to speed past a senior

driver. I breathed it in, hoping it¡¯d bring me back into my element as usual. Who was I?

Searching for an excuse to get out of sex was something I didn¡¯t think was possible.

When I parked my bike outside of Mandy¡¯s, she was already inside. With a defeated

sigh, I dragged my feet inside the pink mobile trailer to have meaningless sex. Woe is me,

I thought. Inside, it looked like a makeup store threw up all over the floor, with colorful

lipsticks, eyeshadows, hairbrushes, and¡­ whatever the rest of that shit was called.

¡°Oh, you made it!¡± Mandy said, walking back from the kitchen with a bottle of red

wine and two glasses. I shivered. I fucking hated wine. As she bustled around to clear off