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Giving her a questioning look, she nodded and mouthed, “Almost time.”
Swallowing hard, I turned back to Lisa. I’d never experienced something like this before. Everyone I had loved and was close to was still alive. I had no way of knowing what Noah and Emily were experiencing as they watched their mother slowly begin her journey home.
Noah must have seen me from the corner of his eye. Lifting his head, he smiled so big, I had to place my hands on my stomach. His face lit up and he motioned for me to come to him. Knowing that just merely me being here for him caused such a reaction did insane things to my heart and stomach.
Walking up to the side of the bed he was on, I held my breath. “Grace, I’m so glad you came in. I was saying goodbye to, Mom.” Turning, Noah leaned down a little bit further. “Mom, Grace is here. Grace is here with me, Mom.”
Emily covered her mouth in an attempt not to cry. My eyes caught hers and I was overtaken with how sad she looked. My heart broke even more.
Looking back at Noah, he motioned for me to talk to his mother as he backed away from the bed. “I’ll be right back. Em, let’s go grab a drink of water.”
Panic set in as I realized Noah was leaving me alone with his mother. Frozen in place, I tried to open my mouth in protest to beg him not to leave me alone with Lisa. Nothing came out. Not even the breath of air I was still holding in.
Angela walked up to me and whispered, “It’s important to Noah, therefore it’s important to Lisa for you to say your goodbyes.”
Nodding my head, I turned and stepped into the spot Noah had been. My eyes searched Lisa’s face. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Her breathing had settled and now it was as if she was perfectly fine. I watched as her chest rose up slowly, then slowly released. My heart raced when it didn’t rise back up as fast as I thought it should. I knew her body was slowly shutting down. Bit by bit, she was letting go.
Reaching for her hand, I couldn’t help but suck in a gasp as I felt how cold it was. “Hi Lisa, it’s me, Grace. I totally forgot to bring the latest gardening book with me. I’m sure you are wondering about how we are going to get that spring garden ready.”
My body slumped and I rolled my eyes. Jesus H. Christ. Did I really just say that? The poor woman is dying and I cracked a joke. A stupid one at that. Looking over my shoulder at Angela, I couldn’t help but notice she was chuckling. Motioning for me to keep talking, I turned back to Lisa.
“I might as well go ahead and confess this. I’ve never been known for telling a good joke.”
Lisa’s hand jerked under mine. She can hear me. She knows what I’m saying to her.
“There will always be a part of me that will wish we could have gotten to know each other better. After all, we both love the same man. I think we would have been wonderful friends. Lisa, I need you to know that I’m going to be Noah’s strength. I promise you. He’s going to be lost for a bit . . . I know this. But I won’t leave his side. I’ll fight for him when he has no fight left. Did Noah tell you he asked me to marry him? I will say this though, he isn’t terribly romantic. He asked me in the backyard, while I was digging up a hole to plant some lettuce.”
Lisa’s hand moved slightly again as I gently squeezed it back. “He claimed it was his practice run, and that he had something more grand planned. Here’s to hoping.”
Angela giggled behind me as I bit hard on my lower lip to gain control of my shaking voice. Dragging in a deep breath, I fought to try and figure out how to say goodbye to Lisa. I wanted more than anything for her to stay with us. For Noah and I to tell her we were engaged. To tell her she was going to be a grandmother and see her hold our child
for the first time.
This isn’t fair.
Closing my eyes, I let my tears fall. Angela’s hand rested softly on my shoulder as it squeezed ever so slightly. Giving me just the strength I needed to keep talking.
Opening my eyes, I smiled as I continued to talk to Lisa. “I know you’ll always be here for Noah and Em, I strongly believe that. There won’t be a day that goes by that they won’t miss you or think about you, Lisa. But they also don’t want to see you in pain anymore. It’s okay to let go. They’re both ready, and they will be okay. They’re hurting more now watching you suffer.” Lifting Lisa’s hand, I gently kissed the back of it.
“I swear to you, I’ll take care of them both. I swear.”
The door to the bedroom opened as I glanced over and saw Noah, Emily, and Grayson walk in. Grayson gave me a weak smile. Noah had called him yesterday and Grayson said he would be on the next plane out. Even though Noah had only been in Grayson’s life off and on growing up, they had grown close these last four years.
“Hey, your favorite nephew, Gray, is here,” I said as I stood up and stepped back so Noah, Emily, and Grayson could stand around Lisa.
Grayson wiped away a single tear that had managed to escape and make its way down his face. Leaning over, Grayson kissed her forehead and gently spoke, “Aunt Lisa, I love you. I’ll miss you but I swear, I won’t let Noah become a male stripper.”
The room erupted in laughter. It was a magical thing to hear. When everyone finally settled down and the room became quiet, Lisa opened her eyes. My breath caught in my throat as I stood back and watched. Lisa looked at Grayson first, then Emily, and finally Noah. Angela grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
This must be it.
Lisa stared at Noah for a few moments before turning her head and looking straight up at the ceiling.
After a few moments, Lisa’s eyes closed . . . and she took her last breath.
Grayson and I stood in the living room while Noah and Emily spent a few moments with their mother. Angela had made all the necessary phone calls that needed to be made.
When my phone went off with a text, I knew it was Meagan. Rushing to the front door, I threw it open and ran outside. Meg was getting out of her Honda Accord and rushing around the front of it. Slamming into her body, I lost it. I’d never in my life cried like I cried when I saw her.
