Page 90 of Double Edged Hearts

“No, I’m not sick today, but it turns out that stomach bug I thought I had last week wasn’t that at all. Dr. Jameson said it’s common to have morning sickness at this stage,” I answer and he holds my gaze with a riveting stare.

His lips part and he cups my face. “Cora… Coraline, what are you saying to me?”

We both look down at my stomach at the same time and I smile when he returns his gaze to mine. He places a hand on my stomach and his eyes brim with tears.

“I’m pregnant,” I answer and the smile that lifts his face fills my heart with warmth and the love we’ve always shared as a couple.

“Goddess, oh my God! We’re going to have a baby?” he asks, excitement rippling through his voice.

“Yes.”

“I’m going to be a father,” he says and pulls me in for a kiss.

“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.

“I love you too. I love you so much Coraline Bellantoni. Thank you for being my everything.” He presses his forehead to mine and holds me.

“You are my everything too.” I truly mean that. I never knew that when I met him he was all I could ever want.

He was my future.

The love of my life.

Alex

I gaze at the sun ahead as it starts to set. I’ve never been at the cemetery at this time of day. I’ve also never been here any day outside of the anniversary date.

Today is just a random day for a visit. One that’s not filled with the angst of a memory I’ll always carry guilt for.

I look down at the headstone and Jude’s grave and I cast my mind back to when we were boys. To the years I want to remember.

“I never speak when I come,” I say to the grave. “Never know what I’m supposed to say that sounds like I should be allowed to speak. I killed you and I’m sorry.” My heart opens and the words come easier. Words I’ve been hanging on to.

I clear my throat and continue. “I’m sorry Jude. I’m sorry that I had to do that, I’m sorry for the way things turned out and that you aren’t here anymore. I came to tell you that it ends today. Guilt and sorrow. What happened, happened and I couldn’t have been the man we were raised to be if I allowed you to continue the way you were. Killing people and destroying lives. When you next see me, I’ll be different. I’ll just be coming to see how you are.”

That’s all I have to say. When I straighten up and take a step back away from the grave, the soft pad of footsteps makes me turn to look at the beautiful goddess floating toward me. Cora came with me today and hung back by the path so I could speak to Jude in private.

My eyes go straight to her flat stomach and I can’t believe my baby is inside her. She looks so tiny, so small and delicate. So beautiful with her hair flowing in the wind and that sun-kissed skin. I reach out to her and she takes my hand.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I am now.” I smile. It’s the first time I’ve smiled at this place. It’s the first time I’ve felt free.

It’s the first time I’ve felt happiness.

“You sure?”

“I am, come on let’s go.”

Her beautiful eyes sparkle when I take her hand and I walk away from the past with the girl I love, looking forward to the future I saw when I first looked at her.

A future where we have our own family.

Me and her forever.

My goddess…

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