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Zedd shook his head sadly. “I wish it were so, my boy, but it is not.”
“Then what am I to do?” Richard asked in a broken whisper.
His old friend put his skinny arms around him and hugged him close in the darkness. Richard felt numb.
“Just be her friend, Richard. That’s what she needs. But you can be nothing more.”
Richard nodded in Zedd’s arms.
After a few minutes the Seeker, a suspicious look in his eye, pushed away, holding the wizard at arm’s length.
“What is it you came out here for?”
“To sit with a friend.”
Richard shook his head. “You came out here as wizard, away from the others, to counsel the Seeker. Now, tell me why you’re here.”
“Very well. I came here in my capacity as wizard, to tell the Seeker he almost made a serious mistake today.”
Richard took his hands from Zedd’s shoulders, but continued to hold his gaze. “I know that. A Seeker cannot put himself at risk when by so doing he puts everyone else at risk.”
“But you were going to do it anyway,” Zedd pressed.
“When you named me Seeker, you took the bad with the good. I’m new at the responsibilities of the position. It’s hard for me to see a friend in trouble and not help. I know I can’t afford that luxury anymore. Consider me reprimanded.”
Zedd smiled. “Well, that part went well.” He sat a minute, his smile faded. “But Richard, the issue is bigger than just what happened today. You must understand that, as Seeker, you may cause the death of innocent people. In order to succeed in stopping Rahl you may have to turn away from those who might be saved with your help. A soldier knows that on the battlefield, if he bends to help a downed comrade, he might take a sword in the back, and so, if he is to win, he must fight on despite the cries for help from his fellows. You must be able to do this to win; it may be the only way. You must steel yourself to it. This is a struggle for survival, and in this battle the ones crying for help probably won’t be soldiers, but innocents. Darken Rahl will kill anyone to win. Those who fight on his side will do the same. You may have to do the same. Like it or not, the aggressor makes the rules. You must play by them, or you will surely die by them.”
“How could anyone fight on his side? Darken Rahl wants to dominate everyone, to be the master of all. How could they fight for him?”
The wizard leaned back against the rock and looked out over the hills, as if seeing more than was there. His tone was sorrowful. “Because, Richard, many people must be ruled to thrive. In their selfishness and greed, they see free people as their oppressors. They wish to have a leader who will cut the taller plants so the sun will reach them. They think no plant should be allowed to grow taller than the shortest, and in that way give light to all. They would rather be provided a guiding light, regardless of the fuel, than light a candle themselves.
“Some of them think that when Rahl wins, he will smile on them, and they will be rewarded, and so they are as ruthless as he to gain his favor. Some are simply blind to the truth and fight for the lies they hear. And some find, once that guiding light is lit, that they are wearing chains, and then it is too late.” Zedd smoothed his sleeves down his arms as he sighed. “There have always been wars, Richard. Every war is a murderous struggle between foes. And yet, no army has ever marched into battle thinking that the Creator had sided with their enemy.”
Richard shook his head. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“I am quite sure that Rahl’s followers think we are bloodthirsty monsters, capable of anything. They will have been told endless tales of their enemy’s ruthless brutality. I’m sure none of them know much about Darken Rahl except what they have been told by Darken Rahl.” The wizard frowned, his intelligent eyes sharp. “It may be a perversion of logic, but that makes it no less threatening, or deadly. Rahl’s followers need only to crush us, they don’t have to understand anything else. But for you to win, against a stronger foe, you must use your head.”
Richard ran his fingers through his hair. “That leaves me stuck in an awfully tight crack. I may have to let innocent people die, yet I can’t kill Darken Rahl.”
Zedd gave him a meaningful look. “No. I never said you couldn’t kill Darken Rahl; I said you couldn’t use the sword to kill him.”
Richard looked intently over at his old friend, the moonlight dim on the other’s angular face. Sparks of thought lit in the darkness of his mood.
“Zedd,” he asked quietly, “have you had to do that? Have you had to let innocent people die?”
Zedd’s face turned hard, and pensive. “In the last war, and again now, as we speak. Kahlan told me Rahl kills people to get my name. No one can give it, but he continues to kill in the hope someone will finally offer it. I could turn myself over to him to stop the killing, but then I wouldn’t be able to help defeat him, and many more would die. It’s a painful choice, let a few die horribly, or let even more die horribly.”
“I’m sorry, my friend.” Richard wrapped his cloak tighter about himself, chilled from without and from within. He looked back out over the still landscape, then back at Zedd. “I met the night wisp, Shar, before she died. She gave her life to get Kahlan here, so others might live. Kahlan also bears the burden of letting others die.”
“She does,” Zedd said softly. “It makes my heart ache to know the things that girl’s eyes have seen. And the things your eyes may have to see.”
“Makes my problem about the two of us seem pretty small.”
Zedd’s expression was gentle with compassion. “But not hurt any less.”
Richard made another scan of the countryside. “Zedd, one more thing. Before we reached your house, I offered Kahlan an apple.”
Zedd gave a surprised laugh. “You offered a red fruit to someone from the Midlands? That’s tantamount to a death threat, my boy. In the Midlands, red fruit of any kind is deadly poison.”
“Yes, I know that now, but I didn’t at the time.”
Zedd leaned over, lifting an eyebrow. “What did she say?”
Richard looked at him sideways. “It isn’t what she said, it’s what she did. She grabbed me by the throat. For a moment, I could see in her eyes that she was going to kill me. I don’t know how she was going to kill me, but I’m sure she was going to do it. She hesitated long enough for me to explain. The point is, she was my friend, and she had saved my life several times, but in that instant she was going to kill me.” Richard paused. “That’s part of what you are saying, isn’t it?”
Zedd let out a long breath and nodded. “It is. Richard, if you suspected I was a traitor, weren’t sure, just suspected, and you knew that if it were true, our cause would be lost, would you be able to kill me? If you had no time or way to find the truth, only the strong belief I was a traitor, and only you knew, could you kill me on the spot? Could you come at me, your old friend, with lethal intent? With enough violence to see the job done?”
Zedd’s stare burned into him. Richard was stunned. “I… I don’t know.”
“Well you had better know that you could, or you have no business going after Rahl. You won’t have the resolve to live, to win. You may be called upon to make a life-and-death decision instantly. Kahlan knows this, she knows the consequences if she fails. She has the resolve.”
“She hesitated, though. From what you’re saying, she made a mistake. I could have overpowered her. She should have killed me before I had a chance to.” Richard frowned. “And she would have been wrong.”
Zedd shock his head slowly. “Don’t flatter yourself, Richard. She had her hand on you. Anything you would have done wouldn’t have been quick enough. All it would have taken is a thought on her part. She was in control and could afford to give you the chance to explain. She made no mistake.”
A little shaken, Richard still wasn’t ready to concede the issue. “But you wouldn’t, you couldn’t be a traitor to us, just as I would never hurt her. I don’t see the point.”
“The point
is, even though I wouldn’t, if I did, you have to be prepared to act. You have to have the strength to do even that, if necessary. The point is that even though Kahlan knew you were her friend, and wouldn’t hurt her, when she thought you were trying to, she was prepared to act. If you hadn’t quickly made her believe you, she would have.”
Richard sat in silence for a moment, watching his friend. “Zedd, if it were the other way around, if you thought I was a danger to our cause, well, you know, could you…?”
The wizard leaned back, frowning, and without a hint of emotion in his voice, said, “In a twinkling.”
The answer appalled Richard, but he understood what his friend was telling him, even if the scenario seemed far-fetched; anything less than total commitment could spell their failure. If they faltered, Rahl would not be merciful. They would die. It was that simple.
