Page 231 of Nobody's Girl

I’ve known these people for as long as I can remember. They’re my closest friends, yet they seem almost like strangers as I sit and watch my Kyle look at and touch my best friend.

“How ya doing, Al?” Cody whispers in my ear as Kyle and Laura whisper to each other about something they’re leaving us out of.

I pat Cody’s knee under the table. “I’m fine.” I whisper back, but I’m not fine.

Who could be fine knowing they can never have someone they love the way they want to? Who can be fine watching the one they love fall in love with another?

Kyle is falling for Laura. I can read his thoughts as well as I can read Eden’s. When Laura had not joined us yet he thought little of her. But what he did think about her was nice.

I could see he’s really coming to care for her. Then, when she walked in, he lit up like a Christmas tree and he thought about how sexy and hot she looked in her new green dress. He thought about how perky her boobs were and how he wanted to suck them later on tonight.

Yeah, it made me sick too!

As she hesitantly came towards us, he worried about her and how she was feeling seeing me and him together. When she and I hugged, he felt relief. When she hugged him, he got a boner.

It was gross!

It’s obvious to me, at least for now, that their relationship is highly sexual, something I assume is natural in some relationships. I worry for them both though, as I know Laura.

I can’t read her yet. Perhaps after I change I’ll be able to. For now, it’s just Eden and Kyle, I assume because they each have a solid place in my heart.

Bonnie brings us a round of beers as a graduation gift, something my parents would have never tolerated.

After being enlightened about what I really am, I trust my own judgement. One beer will not hurt me. I’m not even all human.

I could smoke if I wanted to and it would never hurt me or give me cancer. I don’t like the smell though, so I doubt I’ll ever even pick one up.

Cancer will never be a battle I’ll have to fight. Sickness of any kind will not take me from this world. Very few things can kill this body. One of the oddest things I was shown by Grace and Rodney was that milk in large amounts can kill us.

How crazy, right?

I suppose that’s why my parents always told me I was lactose intolerant. I never remember drinking milk and having a reaction to it. It seems odd now, though, as we had milk in the house. Scotty drinks it, as do mom and dad.

Kyle reaches across the table and takes my hand, which I’ve absentmindedly been tracing patterns on the table with. “Ally, Laura said we can go to your party after graduation.”

I look up at him, then over to Laura, who’s smiling. “Good! I’m glad you decided to join me,” I say, then turn to Cody. “You’re invited too, Cody.”

Cody slips his arm around my shoulders. “You gonna be my date, Al?”

I laugh. “No, but you can bring one. If you can find one.”

Kyle still has my hand in his. He threads his fingers through mine. Both of us are on the inside part of the booth. Our hands, up against the wall, are in plain view, but it still feels secretive to me. Something like that is never good.

I pull my hand away and Kyle looks over at me with a frown. “You and I have more to discuss later, Ally.”

I nod and look away. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. The knowledge that Kyle will always be in my life does battle with the knowledge that he and I will never be anything more than friends.

I look at Laura and try hard to get into her mind to see how she feels about him. She may be my best friend, but if she hurts him it will destroy our friendship forever.

Kyle looks at Laura and says, “Ally invited me to visit her in New Orleans. Maybe this summer you and I can go together.”

Laura smiles enthusiastically at me. “Can we, Ally? That would be great.”

“Of course you can. Anytime you want. You come too, if you want to, Cody. There’s an enormous game room and swimming pool. All sorts of things.”

Cody still has his arm around my shoulders and he gives them a squeeze. “Does your man have a hot sister I can borrow while I’m there?”

“You hound!” I say as I slap his thigh, “He’s an only child, but New Orleans is a big town. Even you should be able to find someone who can put up with your antics, Cody.”