Page 55 of Perfect Satisfaction

“I don’t know how.”

“How to live?”

“How to live without some part of me loving him. That makes me feel shame.”

“Why?”

“Because of you! Look at everything he’s done to you.”

“Sula, in the end, he freed me.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” My conscious is stricken because he did what I couldn’t. By exposing her a second time to the demons, Arek removed the cross of Angie’s shame.

“Then what do you want to happen?”

Where do I start? “It was supposed to be forever. I meant the vows I took, Angie.”

“Considering who your parents are and what you endured, I know that.”

“Then why did I pick someone just like my father to fall in love with—someone who betrayed me at the first turn? Who lied to me about who he is?”

“I don’t know, my friend.”

Then I ask the most terrifying question. I lift my face with tears dripping down it to her. “Am I going to end up withering away just like my mother?

Angie scurries to her knees. “No. You won’t. You will get through this.”

“That’s what I’ve told myself ever since JB pushed the issue with the divorce.”

“Then let me do for you what you did for me.”

I sniffle. “What’s that? Lots of FaceTime chats and worthless advice.”

“No, let me be your rock, Sula. Even though you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, lean on me. Let me be your sounding board.”

She holds out her hand and our fingers interlace.

I acquiesce. “The thing I can’t forget is how I’d race from the airport to his arms.”

“I remember you talking about him in the beginning. For a long while, I thought, ‘Thank God.’ I wanted only for you to be happy.”

“It was glorious. Every minute with him. Then that last day, he didn’t say a word.”

I give a watery chuckle before falling to my side. Angie follows suit. We each pillow our heads, but don’t let go of each other’s hands. “I was so caught up in him. I’m not certain either of us remembered there were other people on the airplane.”

“The first night you two met?”

I nod. “God, I feel so stupid now. He even told me he was an entertainment reporter.”

“Sula, you had no reason not to trust him.” Angie smooths my hair away from my face.

I babble. “Then there was the night Dani and I went to hear Brendan play.”

Angie chuckles.

“Apparently Dani said he was fairly murderous. There was his baby sister ignoring him over some stranger.”

“Which part of his ego was more bruised—the brother or the star?” Angie wonders.