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I shouldn’t think this way. This is mean and I’m a goddamn professional. Our personalities just don’t jibe with each other, that’s all. It’s notthe first time I have to work with someone I don’t like. I’m doing this for the greater good—helping my friends and securing a much-needed donation for ADAS.

Rex Anderson is a troubled man, and even if the man is resistant to medication, as Lana told me before the trip, I can help him.

I don’t miss the signs.

My stomach grumbles now. I glance at my cell. Eight p.m. I should’ve planned better.

I pull out one of Mom’s cookies from my purse and munch on it. Ugh. Almond-flavored cardboard. I quickly swallow the whole thing.

Mom’s call from last night reverberates in my ears. “Eat on time, Olivia,” followed by her disappointing sigh when she said, “You aren’t coming back, are you?” She tried enticing me with mentions of braised pork belly and a new sushi restaurant she found, activities Mia would’ve enjoyed.

She asked me if I received her tin of almond cookies, and I told her I even brought it with me so I could finish them before they went bad. Then she reminisced about how I loved her cookies when I was little, and I huffed out a laugh and changed the subject. No need to hurt her feelings.

“Why would you go on a cruise, Olivia? You have patients at home. They’d want to see you in person. This isn’t like you,” she said.

It’s something Mia would do.

While she didn’t mention her by name, my sister’s presence permeated our conversation and I couldn’t help but be hurt again.

Even in death, she shines brighter than me. The world is dimmer without her spark, her effervescence—the brave, exciting Lin twin.

But you can shine too, Olivia. What’s holding you back?

Not everything has to explode like fireworks. Stars glow at night and their brightness is beautiful too.

Instead of ruminating on the hurt, I focus on Mom’s parting words, “Have you eaten yet?”

Because that’s how she tells me she loves me.

It’s hard not to miss the person who’s gone forever, but it doesn’t mean she loves me any less.

Low murmuring reaches my ears and I look up again, finding Rex saying something to Bree before she disappears inside one of the two bedrooms in the back.

My gut knots again.

Definitely asking an attendant for some real food later.

Turning away, I admire the most luxurious airplane I’ve ever been on. Buttery soft tan leather, dark woods and sleek chrome lining the walls, deep navy and amber carpet which looks imported from somewhere.

It’s surreal how I’m even here. My family is staunchly from the middle class, my parents owning a Chinese fusion restaurant in the San Gabriel Valley, a stone’s throw away from downtown LA. I had student loans up to my eyeballs by the time I graduated from Harvard for undergrad and medical school.

Before everything happened with Mia, I thought I’d move back home after graduation, work at a research hospital for a handful of years before opening a small private practice. Our parents would be proud of us. I’d make a comfortable living and settle down with a regular guy who didn’t live at home, knew how to cook and run a dishwasher, and we’d have two point five kids and live happily ever after.

But none of that happened.

Everything changed after my sister died.

And now I’m here, unable to return to LA, single, using work as a shield from anything risky or fun because I’m the only Lin twin earth side.

I have to be perfect. I have to make the right choices. I’m the only one my parents have left. I’m spared whatever affliction Mia had, so I need to spend the rest of my life saving people like her.

I have to liveforher because she isn’t here anymore.

And deep down, perhaps I’m trying to heal the brokenhearted because it’s too late for me.

“Olivia, have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?”

I startle, so deep in my thoughts I didn’t see him walking over.