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Only bottomless grief.

Silence falls in the room and I hear my laborious breaths. I wet my lips and push through the next lines. “I-I never knew how she felt. Whatever it was, she’d let it eat her alive. She smiled through the pain, s-she…”

My eyes prickle. I can see it so clearly—Mia’s face, identical to mine, her eyes shining with mischief, but underneath it all, there was a hollowness, wasn’t there? She’d sleep too much, and I’d think it was because she partied too hard.

Deep down, I suspected something, right? I remember asking if something was wrong. That she could talk to me or, if she wanted to, she could go to the school counselor. After one Saturday where she slept for twenty hours straight, I dragged her out of bed, took her to the self-helpsection in the bookstore and pulled out books about sleep disorders and vitamin deficiencies.

She pushed them away and laughed at me. She distracted me with her plans for Sunday—the blockbuster film she wanted to see and she asked about my upcoming chemistry test, knowing I was worried because I hated formulas.

She didn’t want to do the work to help herself.

Exhaling, I focus on the scene card in my hand.

I want to scurry away. I don’t want to be Viola—or Mia’s twin.

“She kept it all in, you see,” I rasp, my heart splintering. “She acted like everything was fine, but inside? She was destroyed. But that’s love, right?”

Everything has two sides to it. Love and hate. Happiness and grief.

I hate how Mia left me, how selfish she was. We were two sides of a whole—the light and the dark, chaos and calm.

I miss her so damn much.

Now, I’m a fraud—an impostor masquerading as a doctor, the broken trying to heal the broken.

A fake.

“End scene.” Alexis snaps the clapper, and I flinch. “Olivia, for someone who’s supposed to be in the background, you were born to be in the spotlight. That’s no Razzie material… It’s so damn good.”

The girls nod and I force out a laugh.

“Don’t expect a repeat performance.” I look down at my shoes, afraid to catch their gazes because I’mnotMia. I’m not the brave and exuberant twin with the poker face.

I’m not supposed to be in the spotlight.

But you want to, don’t you? Aren’t you tired of playing it safe, of hiding in the shadows? Well, no one is blocking you anymore.

Horror sweeps through me, colliding with the spark of excitement flickering behind my rib cage.

It’s evil, these thoughts. I’d give anything to have Mia here with me, blockingthe sunlight and all.

“Ack, I need to use the restroom. Drank too much.” Taylor dashes off and the rest of the room comes alive as the staff prepares for the next scene.

Resting my hand on my chest, I take a few deep breaths before looking up, finding Lana staring quizzically at me.

“You okay? You don’t seem yourself.”

“I’m fine. Just stressed.”

“Andthat’swhy you need to be on the cruise! Work and play. You might even meet a hot European guy and have a nice fling with him. Seriously, I’ve known you for what…two years now? I’ve never seen you date anyone. Go to Europe! Work hard, get laid by someone who speaks a sexy language.”

She waggles her brows, and I can’t help but smile at her energy. It isn’t a hard sell, but even if I want to go on the cruise, I don’t know if I can swing it.

But something she said earlier gives me pause.

“Hold on. You said two favors. Going on the cruise is one… What’s the other?”

She grimaces and takes a sudden interest in her nails.